


Myosotis verna

by maanorchidee



Series: Myosotis series | Klaine Advent 2019 [5]
Category: Glee
Genre: Break Up Talk, First Meetings, M/M, POV Alternating, Prequel, klaine endgame
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-22
Updated: 2020-11-19
Packaged: 2021-03-08 22:07:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 29,988
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27153604
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/maanorchidee/pseuds/maanorchidee
Summary: Kurt and Blaine met in the spring of 2017 and to Blaine, it was love at first sight. Unfortunately for him, Kurt was dating Adam Crawford.They fall in love anyway. This is the first time they fell in love.A Myosotis sylvatica prequel.
Relationships: Adam Crawford/Kurt Hummel, Blaine Anderson/Kurt Hummel
Series: Myosotis series | Klaine Advent 2019 [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1800703
Comments: 30
Kudos: 23





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Well, hello there. I was absolutely certain that Myosotis ramosissima was going to be the last part of the Myosotis series, at least for now. Then, MC_Hot_Chocolate presented me with another plotbunny: Kurt and Blaine meeting and falling in love in 2017.
> 
> I never put any thought into it while writing the main story. As Adam pointed out: it’s all in the past for the characters. But that comment made me think and here we are. The moment I opened the Word document and I passed the first thousand words, my exact thoughts were “ah, fuck, here we go again”. I am unable to write anything short.
> 
> So this is the Myosotis sylvatica prequel, Myosotis verna. The myosotis verna is also known as the spring forget-me-not, since Kurt and Blaine met in the spring. I’m aiming for 3 chapters. This first chapter is all Blaine POV, but I think the other two will alternate between Kurt, Blaine and Adam POV. I hope to have it finished before the 2020 Advent.
> 
> Here we go. Enjoy.

**BLAINE**

Blaine looks outside. He still cannot believe that he can see the skyline of Manhattan from his window. Having a father who gives him an insane sum of money every year helps.

That, and he’s saved his own money. Sort of.

It all paid off in the end. The skyline is beautiful and Blaine can’t believe he’s actually here and that he gets to live in an amazing apartment with his best friend.

The tranquillity of the moment is ruined when Wes barges into Blaine’s room.

“What are you looking at?” Wes asks.

Blaine gestures towards Wes to join him. “Look outside, man. We’re really here. Months of planning and occasional tears have all led to this moment.”

“Your tears, not mine,” Wes rolls his eyes, but when Wes looks outside, he also gets a fond look on his face. He grabs Blaine’s shoulders. “Dude, we’re taking New York by storm. I’m going to be the best entertainment lawyer ever. My OSU days are over!”

Wes purposely leaves out the fact that Blaine has no plan. Blaine barely scraped by during college. The fact that he managed to get his music degree seems like some sort of miracle. There were many times that he almost dropped out.

Now, they’re in New York. Wes has gotten a job at an upcoming law firm and Blaine’s very happy for him, since it’s difficult to get a job straight out of college these days. After graduation, Wes had some small ‘gigs’ in Columbus, but this is his first proper job. Wes asked Blaine to move to the city with him ‘for old time’s sake’, but they both know that Wes just wants to keep an eye on his friend.

And Blaine appreciates that. His life would’ve been drastically different if Wes hadn’t been in it, but Blaine’s better now. Not fully better, but at least better. In the beginning, Blaine was not okay with the plan, since all the big changes led to him feeling stuck and in a rut, but his therapist agreed that it was a great idea to physically distance himself from his old problems as well, so not only emotionally. It’s time for a fresh start.

It’s a fresh start without any plans.

It’s terrifying, but also exhilarating.

Wes has been talking the entire time, but Blaine was lost in his thoughts. He tries to piece the conversation together.

“… and then we’re gonna grab a fucking burger,” Wes finishes his long monologue.

“Sorry, what now?”

Wes sighs, but then he punches Blaine’s shoulder in a playful way. “Lost in thought again? Damn, Blaine, what am I gonna do with you?”

“Hopefully, you’re gonna let me live.”

“I’ll think about it,” Wes jokes, “But like I said, I have to go to Downtown Manhattan real quick to sign some more forms. Then to Upper East Side for more forms! So many forms! I’ll be done around 6pm. How about you go explore the city and then we meet up somewhere to grab a bite? I promised Trent I’d try a ‘typical New York burger’ or whatever the hell that is.”

It’s only his first day in New York and the thought of spending it alone makes Blaine panic. Wes must’ve noticed, since he pulls Blaine in a hug.

“Dude, we’re gonna rock this city. You and me. Together. I promise you that. But remember what your therapist said? You cannot be completely dependent on me. Go out there and take in the terribly polluted New York City air!”

Wes is right. Wes is always right. What is the point of wanting to live if he can’t do it on his own? He’s worked so hard in the past few years to be in this right headspace, so he’s not going to ruin it.

“Who knows? Maybe you’ll fall in love,” Wes jokes.

“You have New York confused with Paris, my friend,” Blaine says, “Paris is the city of love. It’s only my first day in the city.”

“Again, who knows?” Wes says.

They hug for a little bit longer, but then Wes really has to go. Wes and Blaine go to the train station together, since Blaine also wants to get a MetroCard as soon as possible, but they have to part ways. Wes has forms to sign and Blaine has a city to see.

He decides to start his tour at Broadway, so he takes the right train.

Once he’s on the actual Broadway, he cannot believe it. He’s seen photos of Broadway marquees many times, but to actually see it is amazing. He walks past musicals like Kinky Boots, Waitress, Hamilton, the Lion King, Bandstand and many more. His eyes fall on a new musical The Mink Coat, starring Rachel Berry. He should Google that show when he gets home. He’s barely heard of it.

He takes out his phone with the intention to make a photo of Broadway. He positions his phone and he’s ready to make a photo, but then, he hears a high pitched voice asking: “Do you want a photo of Mink Coat?”

He looks over his shoulder to see a brown-haired woman look at him in wonder.

“Oh, uh, I was gonna make one of Broadway, so I guess. Mink Coat is part of Broadway,” he says.

“I’d be happy to make one of you in front of the marquee,” the woman says excitedly.

Blaine smiles. “That is really kind, but I have it covered. I don’t want to be on the photo myself.”

“Such a shame,” Rachel sighs, “You’re a good looking guy in front of the new Broadway hit!”

Blaine’s stunned into silence for a bit. He’s about to tell the woman that he’s gay, when someone else chuckles.

Blaine turns around and a couple of feet behind the woman, a man is standing. Blaine’s once again stunned into silence, but this time it’s because he’s never seen a person this beautiful before.

“Don’t mind my friend,” the man moves closer and he stands next to the woman, “It’s her first big show and her ego has gotten the best of her.”

Blaine’s gaping openly at the man with no shame.

The woman doesn’t seem to notice, because she says loudly: “I am Rachel Berry.”

Blaine recognizes the name, but he’s too focused on Rachel’s friend.

“Blaine Anderson,” he says, while still looking at him.

“Kurt Hummel,” the man says back.

“Blaine Anderson,” Blaine, the dumbass that he is, says again.

Kurt nods. “Yeah, you just told us.”

“Oh, uh, sorry,” Blaine says, embarrassed, “I’m new in town and I love musicals, so of course I need to have a photo!” He waves his phone.

“Are you going to see Mink Coat?” Rachel asks eagerly and suddenly, it clicks. Blaine looks back to the marquee. Rachel Berry. Blaine’s learned that name only mere seconds ago, but he didn’t realise the obvious, since he was too focused on Kurt.

“Maybe,” Blaine says, “I mean, I moved here, so I have time. I just got here from Ohio.”

“We’re from Ohio!” Kurt says and Rachel nods, “Lima, you?”

“Columbus, originally, but I spent a lot of time in Westerville,” Blaine answers.

“God, Ohio, I’m so glad I’ve gotten out of there,” Kurt says.

Blaine nods. He understands.

Kurt starts talking about all the things he doesn’t miss about Ohio and in return, Blaine talks about the things Columbus had to offer, but how he hopes to see improvement in New York. Occasionally, Rachel chimes in, but when Blaine finally mentions that he’s gay, he finds out that Kurt is too, and they talk about growing up gay in Ohio.

“Well, I have two gay dads, so I’ve seen some stuff too,” Rachel says, “But uhm, I’m going to leave you two now. I have rehearsals. It was nice to meet you, Blaine, and I hope to see you in the audience one day.”

She kisses Kurt’s cheek as a goodbye and then she walks towards the theatre.

Blaine thought that that’d be the end of it. He assumed that Kurt would say his goodbyes as well, but no, instead they keep talking. They walk around Broadway, but then they end up Off-Broadway. Kurt is an Off-Broadway actor and Blaine immediately reserves tickets for his show, which makes Kurt blush.

They end up walking around and Kurt tells him a lot of things about the city. Of course, Blaine’s read a lot about New York before moving here, but hearing it from someone who’s lived here for five years is so much better than reading sponsored travel blogs.

Blaine hasn’t met someone so intriguing and nice in a very long time, but he’s partly the blame for that. He never made any friends during college, since he often didn’t show up. Talking to Kurt feels like a breath of fresh air.

There are eight million people in the city and Blaine meets the most interesting one of them all.

They end up in Central Park and they must’ve lost track of time, since Blaine’s phone beeps in the middle of the conversation. It’s Wes.

_> Dude, where are you? It’s burger time!_

Blaine looks at the time. He promised he’d be at the diner at 6pm. It’s 6pm and he’s nowhere near.

“Shit,” Blaine says.

“Is something wrong?”

“I told you I moved here with someone, right? We’re supposed to grab a burger in the Upper East Side. Now. I should’ve caught a train.”

He quickly texts back.

_> In Central Park, Uptown Manhattan part. I’ll be there. Forgot the time sorry!_

“I gotta go. Wes is really looking forward to that damn burger,” Blaine says.

“Yeah, of course,” Kurt says.

Blaine looks at him. What to do now? Is he just going to walk away and then that’s the end of it? Is Kurt going to be a stranger that he spends one incredible day with, and that’s it? Blaine really wants to get to know him and be his friend. He hasn’t felt this longing in so long. After years of depressed isolation, he’s finally wanting to have another friend.

Maybe more.

He should muster up the courage to ask for Kurt’s number.

Yet, Blaine’s a coward. Some things never change.

“Bye, it was nice meeting you.”

“Likewise,” Kurt says.

Blaine wants to give him a hug, but instead, he awkwardly walks towards the nearest train station. Luckily, the Upper East Side isn’t too far. In the train, he keeps replaying all the conversations that he’s had that day and he can’t help but smile.

He’s still smiling when he arrives at the diner. Wes raises an eyebrow.

“What is up with you?” he asks.

“I know you said that I might fall in love,” Blaine sighs, “Wes, I think I did.”

* * *

“You are going to go after him, right?” Wes asks when they’re back home, “I mean, Blaine, you spent our entire first meal in New York gushing about him.”

“… I know.”

“And then you didn’t even ask his number! Dude, the way you spoke about him… Maybe he was flirting? Go get him!”

“… I _know_ ,” Blaine groans and he falls face down on the couch, “I- I was weak.”

When he looks up, he sees Wes look at him with a sad face. Blaine starts to shake his head.

“No, Wes, please no pity tonight.”

Wes sighs and he sits down on the couch. He rests Blaine’s head in his lap. “Dude, I never pitied you. Please, stop thinking that. I’m just sad that once again this stupid illness of yours is withholding you from living the life you deserve.”

Blaine closes his eyes. “Yeah.”

“We’re not gonna give up, okay?” Wes says and he pats Blaine on the head. It makes Blaine laugh.

“Yes, mom.”

“Seriously, Blaine,” Wes says and he does sound very serious, “The whole point of you moving here is to have a second start. New place, new life, new friends, new love!”

“… I don’t- I’m not sure I can ever date anyone anymore.”

Wes sighs again. He sighs a lot, as if he’s under constant strain. Blaine hates that he’s done that to him.

“The hurt that Sebastian’s done is not all that there is,” Wes says softly, “He cannot define you any longer.”

“Doesn’t mean the scars will disappear,” Blaine mutters.

Wes nods. “That is true, but please, do not let this amazing opportunity slide, man. During dinner, you were glowing. I think this might be worth it.”

“Well, the damage is done. I didn’t ask for his number. How will I contact him?”

Wes gives him a funny look. “First of all, Google exists. Second, you told me that he is an actor and that you’ve bought _tickets_?”

Blaine snorts. “Shit, you’re right.”

“It’s as if your soul knew something that your mind and body didn’t know yet,” Wes says.

“Nice one. I might use that line for a song one day.”

“Nah-ah, use it when you propose to him,” Wes jokes.

Blaine laughs again. Then he gets quiet.

“Thanks, man.”

“You’re a catch, and according to you, so is he,” Wes says, “Go get him.”

* * *

The next couple of days are filled with the final touches of their move. Blaine’s brought a piano with him and Wes encourages him to finally write the songs he’s had in his mind. Blaine’s been doing music again, since it’s all part of the recovery, but writing songs while looking outside to see the gorgeous Manhattan skyline is the biggest boost he’s had in a long time.

Wes is getting ready to fully start his job.

They call with some of the Warblers. No one’s heard of Sebastian in years.

“Good,” Wes says angrily.

Wes will never forgive Sebastian. It’s a good thing that Blaine and Wes will probably never see him again, because Blaine does not want to be a witness to a possible murder.

They explore the city together and they try out many restaurants. Wes keeps insisting that no Chinese restaurant can beat his aunt’s, but Blaine has to disagree since his aunt uses too much garlic. Wes sends a selfie of the two of them to his aunt, who accuses them of betrayal, which in turn makes them laugh.

It’s a nice first week, but Kurt’s constantly on his mind. Blaine knows that he can easily look Kurt up on Facebook or Twitter, but call him a hopeless romantic, he just wants the second meeting to be in person.

Wes is right. Sebastian might have made him lose his self-worth, but he still has the romantic side of him. Sebastian made him believe that he’s stupid for wanting romance, but Sebastian was wrong. The romantic side will never fully go away. Time to finally use it again.

On the day of the show, Blaine picks his finest bowtie and he checks his reflection in the mirror. It makes Wes smile a lot and seeing Wes smile makes Blaine smile too. He’s put too many frowns on Wes’s face, so this is a nice change.

“Go get him!” Wes yells when Blaine leaves the building.

Blaine arrives at the theatre and he looks at his program. The show is called The Street. It’s a new musical and it has a small cast, but everyone has a big role. This includes Kurt.

And the show is fantastic. Blaine cries, he swoons, he dances in his seat. All the other actors are great, but Kurt shines.

Afterwards, Blaine’s brimming with nervous energy while waiting at the stage door. It’s an hour wait, but then some of the actors come out to greet the fans. Kurt isn’t one of them.

Blaine waits a little bit longer and lo and behold, Kurt arrives.

Blaine doesn’t want to be a dick, so he waits for Kurt to meet the people who were first in line. Then, Kurt finally sees Blaine.

“I knew it!” Kurt says. He apparently doesn’t care, since he quickly ignores everyone else to go and talk to Blaine. “I knew that you had tickets, but I forgot the date.”

“You remember me?” Blaine asks, hopeful.

Kurt looks at him as if it’s obvious. “How could I ever forget you?”

Blaine tries not to dissolve into a puddle.

“I’m glad that you came. I wanted to look you up online, but apparently there are a lot of Blaine Andersons in the world.”

“Anderson is a common name,” Blaine agrees.

“I really liked our talk. I wish I’d gotten to know you better,” Kurt says, “I can’t explain it, but it feels like we’re meant to be friends.”

Friends? Definitely. Blaine just hopes for more.

Kurt motions to the bouncer to come closer. “Can you bring Blaine inside? Let him wait in my dressing room?” Then, Kurt turns to Blaine. “I mean, if that is fine with you.”

“Absolutely!” Blaine says. He might’ve sound over excited there, but he doesn’t care.

The bouncer tells Blaine to go back to the entrance and that he will be guided from there, so he does. The bouncer soon picks him up and he brings Blaine to Kurt’s dressing room. It’s nicely decorated and there are photos everywhere. Blaine recognises Rachel in some of them.

There is also a photo of Kurt with presumably his parents. Then, there are two portraits: one of a young woman and one of a young man.

“My mother and my brother.”

Blaine’s startled to see Kurt in the door frame.

“You’re already done?”

Kurt shrugs. “Nah, but most fans prefer one of my co-stars anyway.”

“Why? You were clearly the star!” Blaine blurts out.

Kurt turns red. “You’re too kind.”

He takes off his coat and he nods towards the photos. “My mother, Elizabeth Hummel, and my brother, Finn Hudson.”

“Your mother looks young in this photo,” Blaine says. The photo quality also isn’t the best. It must be an older photo.

“She died young,” Kurt says solemnly, “This is my favourite photo of her.”

Blaine looks up in shock. “Kurt, I’m so sorry.”

“You didn’t know,” Kurt says back.

Blaine looks back to the photos. “… your brother?”

“Died four years ago. He was nineteen,” Kurt says sadly.

“Oh.”

“Gosh, sorry,” Kurt laughs awkwardly, “I don’t know why I’m telling you all of this. You probably didn’t expect me to pour my heart and soul out. I’m sorry.”

“No, it’s fine. Some sad things are just too impactful,” Blaine says. He knows.

And that’s when Blaine also bares his heart and soul. Blaine didn’t expect the evening to go like this, but both Kurt and Blaine talk about personal stuff. Blaine hasn’t shared some of this with his old friends, but with Kurt, it’s just so easy to talk to. Blaine talks about wanting to start anew and how bad his mental health was back in Columbus. Kurt talks about loss and grief and how he hates the universe for taking his family.

They don’t tell each other everything, but that is okay. Blaine feels like he can talk to Kurt, but there are just some part that he cannot talk about. Not yet. The darkest days were truly too dark. Likewise, Blaine has the impression that Kurt does not tell everything about the deaths, and that is totally fine.

They once again lose track of time, and once again, Wes is the one to interrupt the conversation.

_> Are you coming home orrrrr???? _😏😏😏

“Sorry, it’s Wes,” Blaine says, “He’s asking when I’m coming home.”

“Ah, yes, your boyfriend must be waiting for you. I shouldn’t keep you,” Kurt says.

It takes a while for Blaine to realise what just happened, and when he does, he laughs.

“My- oh no!” Blaine says, still laughing a bit, “Oh, no, no, no! Wes is totally straight. You thought- oh my God?”

“You’re not dating him?” Kurt asks, confused, “Oh, damn, I just assumed- I mean, you live together and the way you spoke about him when we first met… I thought you were together.”

“Oh, no,” Blaine says, and he feels a bit disappointed. If Kurt thought that Blaine was dating Wes, then he probably wasn’t flirting. Time to rectify that. “I am totally single and ready to mingle.”

Blaine wants to slap himself. _Totally single and ready to mingle?_ Damnit.

He has to stop himself from asking Kurt if he is single and ready to mingle.

Luckily, Kurt just laughs. “Ready to mingle, huh?”

“Yeah,” Blaine says. He wonders if this is the moment where one of them should ask the other out for a date, or is that too forward? In the past week, he’s spent a lot of time thinking about how to ask him out without the fear that Sebastian has instilled in him taking over. He thinks he can do it.

His therapist and Wes agreed: Sebastian is no more.

But then Kurt says: “I’m sure you find someone. There are plenty of fish in the sea, or New York, at least. When I first moved here, I was also scared of falling in love, but then I met Adam, my boyfriend, and-”

Blaine’s mind shuts down after that.

_Adam, my boyfriend._

Not only was Kurt thinking of Blaine as just a friend, since he thought that Blaine was dating Wes, but also because Kurt is dating someone.

Kurt keeps on talking about his boyfriend and about love, but to Blaine, it all sounds like static noise. There are no thoughts. His head is just empty.

He tries not to cry, and then he feels stupid about the fact that he’s going to cry. He tries to remind himself that he’s not stupid or crazy for crying, but it hurts. He shouldn’t take this personally, but his brain still does.

Kurt waves to get his attention.

“… Is everything alright?” he asks, looking worried, “You kinda look troubled out of nowhere.”

Blaine blinks a couple of times.

“Uhm.” _Excuse. Excuse. Think of an excuse._ “Sorry, I should probably go. I was thinking about how Wes is gonna get worried. I told you that he was there for me when I was at my lowest.”

Kurt’s eyes widen. “Oh. Of course! Go home! But don’t just walk out on me again.” Kurt fishes his phone out of his pocket and hands it to Blaine.

“You want my number?”

“I told you. I want to be friends. I know that might sound super random, but it is true.”

When Blaine unlocks the phone, he sees the lockscreen image of Kurt and his boyfriend, which feels like a slap in the face. Still, he smiles politely and he adds his number to Kurt’s contacts.

They say their goodbyes and when Blaine’s on the train, he finally cries.

Of course. Of fucking course. The first guy Blaine falls for and who he lets himself fall for, has a boyfriend. Just when Blaine’s finally convinced himself that he can do this and that he’s deserving of love, it gets crushed in front of him.

He dials Wes’s number while his hands are shaking.

“Tell me everything!” Wes yells excitedly when he picks up, “Did you ask him out? Did _he_ ask _you_ out? Give me the deets!”

“Wes,” Blaine’s voice breaks.

“… Blaine?” Wes asks. His tone has completely shifted.

“Why does nothing go as planned? Why can’t I have nice things? I try so hard, truly. I try my best, but the universe must hate me.”

“Come home,” Wes says after a small beat of silence, “Come home, Blaine. I have chocolate and a cup of tea. All will be alright.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, the three chapters have become four. I know that I am unable to keep it short, so why am I surprised? I’ve now set the amount of chapters to 4 and since I’ve now put it in the AO3 information, I hope I have sort of made a contract with myself. 
> 
> This chapter is longer than the first one and it’s actually fully Kurt’s POV, which was also unplanned. Ah, we’ll see where this fic will take me.

**KURT**

“Honey, I’m home!” Kurt yells loudly.

“And what sort of time do you call this?” Adam yells from the living room.

It’s a Doctor Who reference. Santana always joked about Adam being the Doctor, so they decided to watch all of it together, and now they use this reference all the time.

Although this time, Kurt’s truly gotten home late.

Kurt opens the door and he sees Adam sitting on the couch, looking at the TV. Kurt sits next to him and Adam pulls him close.

“How was the show?” Adam asks and he kisses Kurt’s forehead.

“The usual,” Kurt replies, “Although I had a guest. That’s why I am late.”

“A guest?”

“Remember how I told you that Rachel and I met this guy outside of her theatre and that I showed him around?”

Adam nods. “Did he finally show up?”

“Yes, his tickets were for today’s show!” Kurt says, “He’s really cool. He likes musicals a lot. Oh, I was mistaken about the situation between him and his roommate, though. They’re not dating, they’re just friends.”

“Really? You made it sound like they were head over heels in love,” Adam says.

“I know right? But the way he spoke about his friend is the same way I speak about you: lots of love and adoration. Obviously, I jumped on the romantic love bandwagon.”

“He sounds like a cool guy,” Adam says, “Any guy who’s so open and loving about his friends is a great guy in my book.”

“Well, this time I actually got his number, so I think there’s a new friendship blossoming,” Kurt says. Then he yawns. Today was a long day and he’s gotten home late.

Adam yawns as well. “Oh, look at us.”

“We’re like an old married couple,” Kurt says, “Let’s go to sleep, old man.”

They truly are like an old married couple. All their friends say so as well.

“Yes, darling!”

When they’ve done their evening routines and Kurt’s in bed, he decides to text Blaine. He hasn’t had the time yet.

_> Hey Blaine, it’s Kurt. It was nice seeing you again!_

Kurt puts his phone away and he goes to sleep.

* * *

When he wakes up, he sees that Blaine has replied.

* * *

They don’t stop texting. Through the entire week, the sound of Kurt’s phone makes Kurt instantly happy. He’s put a special notification sound for Blaine’s messages, so that he knows it’s him.

Others have noticed, obviously.

Adam is just happy that he’s made a friend, especially now that Elliott and Dani are busy with the band.

Kitty teases him about having a man on the side.

Rachel is absolutely delighted to hear that Kurt has found Blaine again.

Everyone gets to meet Blaine and Wes during the opening of The Mink Coat. Rachel also invites them to the afterparty. Wes and Adam hit it off right away. Kitty interrogates both of them. Kurt spends most of the afterparty at Blaine’s side.

After that, Blaine and Wes ease their way into the group of friends. Kurt and Blaine become closer and closer.

There’s just something about Blaine that makes Kurt want to spend time with him.

Their closeness does not go unnoticed.

Two months after they exchanged numbers, Kitty is the first to comment on it. Kurt and Kitty are at JFK, waiting for Roderick to arrive. He’s finally moving to the city. Kitty and Roderick have been doing long-distance for over a year now and Roderick’s moving into Kitty’s apartment. Everyone’s very excited. Kurt’s spoken to Roderick before, but he is also glad to get to know him better.

Whilst they’re waiting at the gate, Kurt keeps texting Blaine.

Kitty is giving him a side-eye and Kurt notices.

“Something wrong, Kit-Kat?” Kurt asks while still looking at your phone.

“Oh, hon, I’m just freaking out cause the love of my life is finally going to be here full-time and the person who’s supposed to ground me is glued to his phone,” Kitty laments.

“You’ll be fine,” Kurt says absently as he types a response to Blaine’s latest text, “You’ve been together for a while now.”

Suddenly, Kurt’s hands are empty and Kitty is holding his phone. She has a frown on her face and she waves in her free hand in front of Kurt’s face. “Earth to Kurt. My boyfriend is moving to the city. This is a big fucking deal!”

“I’m just texting Blaine,” Kurt says while trying to reach for his phone. Unfortunately, Kitty’s very flexible, since the Cheerio years have paid off, so she dodges his grip easily. “Kit-Kat! _Kitty_!”

“You’re always texting Blaine,” Kitty says angrily, “That’s all you’ve done for the past two months. Every time we hang out, you’re on your phone. And I’m happy for you. You’ve clearly made a friend and I’m not even jealous of the epic bromance that you two have-”

“You sound like Sam.”

“Do not interrupt me. All I’m saying is that I _need_ you right now. I _need_ you, Kurt. I’ve been so freaked out about this day for ages and now it’s finally here and I need one of my best friends to be there for me, but you’re not!”

Kurt is silent. He feels like he’s been smacked on the head. Kitty is totally right.

“Shit, Kit, I’m so-”

The sound of Kurt’s phone interrupts him. Both Kurt and Kitty look at the phone.

“Can I-”

“ _Don’t you fucking dare, Kurt Hummel!_ ”

“I’m gonna text him that I’m busy,” Kurt says, “Really. If you don’t believe me, then you can text him that I’m busy!”

“Alright,” Kitty says, but she sounds strained. Kurt has really upset her. She unlocks Kurt’s phone, since she knows the password, and she types rapidly. She shows the screen to Kurt.

> _Hey Blaine! This is Kitty. I’ve taken Kurt’s phone because I am freaking out cause_ 😍😍 _Roderick_ 😍😍 _is arriving soon and I need Kurt to scream to! Love you, babe_ 😘❤️

“Sure, send that,” Kurt says, “The over usage of the hearts is a bit much, though.”

The reply is quick. Blaine was probably waiting at his phone. Kurt does that too.

_> THAT WAS TODAY??? KITTY OH MY GOD! Yes, yes, obvs, ignore me. Just don’t destroy Kurt’s ears._

Kurt wants to reply, but Kitty is not giving his phone back. She types more. She first sends a message full of heart emojis to piss Kurt off and then she writes:

> _No promises, Blaine_ 😉😉😉. _I’m super excited!!!_

_> I bet. Can’t wait to meet the mysterious Roderick. Have fun!_

“There,” Kitty says and she hands the phone back to Kurt, “Turn off the volume. He’s just landed and I def need to scream.”

Kurt puts his phone in his pocket and he fully focuses on Kitty and Roderick.

When Roderick finally is here, Kitty screams loudly, causing some other passengers to look alarmed, and she throws herself on him. They kiss passionately and Kurt uses Kitty’s phone to film it, since she requested it.

The kiss goes on for a good thirty seconds and Kurt pretends to gag. Then, they hug.

“You’re here!” Kitty says happily, “You’re finally here!”

“I’m here, sweetie,” Roderick says back and he pulls her closer.

Kurt walks around them in circles, he captures every moment. He wishes he could send it to Blaine, but he’s promised Kitty to ignore Blaine for now.

Kitty looks in the camera and laughs. “Okay, let’s go. Time to rock Roderick’s world!”

* * *

Santana is next. It’s been a couple of weeks since Roderick moved to the city.

Santana is back in New York with Mercedes and Brittany. They’ve been touring almost non-stop since the beginning of the year, since Mercedes is having her first national tour. Of course, she has a stop in New York and every New Directions member in the city has tickets and VIP.

Blaine couldn’t come, since he and Wes are visiting friends in Florida.

Before the show, they’re all hanging out in Mercedes’s dressing room. She looks radiant and everyone is incredibly proud of her. Her tour with Beyoncé has opened many doors for her. Kurt is so proud of her and he keeps texting Blaine to keep him up to date.

_> It’s her first NYC show!!! _🙌 🙌 🙌 🙌

_> Damn, I still cannot believe you’re friends with Mercedes Jones. My friend Thad is obsessed with her. He’s seen her in LA with his gf Emily. Unfortunately, VIP tickets were already sold out_ 😪 😪 😪

_> I can ask her to sign something._

_Just say the word and I will go after it. I can let her sign a poster?_

_>_ 😱 😱 😱 😱 😱 😱

_OH MY GOD, THAD WOULD FREAK TF OUT!!!_

_> Lemme handle it. What’s his full name?_

_> Thaddeus Edward Armando Christian Harwood-von Wyck_

_but y’know Thad Hardwood is fine._

Kurt laughs out loud when he reads that. Santana’s been sitting next to him the entire time. She’s also on her phone, but now she looks up to give him a weird look.

“What’s so good?” she asks.

“Oh, just texting,” Kurt answers absently.

_> I think it’s very sweet that you know the full names of your friends. What’s Wes’s?_

_> Wesley Xiùlán Montgomery_

_> And yours???_

_> Blaine Devon Anderson. You?_

_> Kurt Elizabeth Hummel_

_> Elizabeth? After your mother?_

_> Yup_ 😊

When Kurt looks up, he sees that Santana’s looking at him with a fond look on her face.

“Look at you, Hummel, all happy and smiling. It’s disgusting,” she says.

“My, my, my, I can’t believe that I’ve got the pleasure to see Santana’s soft side.”

Santana sighs happily. “What can I say? I’m a sucker for seeing my friends happy. Say hi to Adam for me.”

“Will do when I see him at the party,” Kurt says.

Santana looks confused.

“You mean, you’re not texting him?”

Now, Kurt’s also confused.

“N-No? What- Did you think I was texting _Adam_?”

Santana looks like a deer caught in headlines.

“Just, the smiling, and you look so happy and smitten,” Santana answers, “I thought… Wait a second!”

She looks around to see if no one’s listening, but Roderick and Rachel are talking to Mercedes, and Brittany is teaching Kitty and Jesse some of the dance moves. No one pays attention to Kurt and Santana.

Then she leans in closer and says: “You aren’t cheating on Adam, are you?”

“What, _no_!” Kurt yells.

Some others now look at them, but Santana waves her hand and says: “Nothing special here, guys, just Hummel being gay.”

“Santana, you are gay,” Rachel says.

“I know, that’s why I know it.”

That seems to satisfy everyone else, so they continue with their conversations and dance lessons.

Santana still looks dead serious. “You’re sure? I mean, like, no judgement here. You’re probably the only glee kid who _hasn_ ’ _t_ cheated on someone.”

“Cheating still deserves judgement, Santana,” Kurt points out, “And no, I’m not cheating on Adam. I don’t have someone on the side. Blaine’s just a friend.”

“Blaine, huh? I’ve heard of that guy,” Santana says, “Rachel can’t shut up about his talent.”

“Well, he is talented,” Kurt says and he feels warm all over.

Santana raises an eyebrow. “You sure you’re not cheating on Adam?”

“Santana, what- no, this is ridiculous! I’d never do that to Adam. I love him.”

“I believe you when you say you love him,” Santana says quietly, “And I believe you when you say you and Blaine are just friends, but I also know what I saw.”

Before Kurt can argue back, Santana gets up. She pats him on the shoulder and she goes to help Brittany with the impromptu dance lessons.

Kurt looks back on his phone. He’d already set in on silent in preparation for the show and now he sees that he’s missed some messages from Blaine.

_> This is still so fucking amazing tho cause like, Thad’s birthday is super soon._

_It must be fate or sth_

_Okay I told Wes and he’s super stoked about it too._

_I’m not gonna tell David and Trent yet cause idk if it will all work out but if it does, then you’re an absolute saint and I will love you forever. And so will Thad, probably._

_Okay so if it’s not too much to ask, can you let Mercedes sign a poster and sth else like a tote bag??? Then Wes can also give signed merch as a gift_

_If this all works out then I’m gonna ask Em to film it_

_[Blaine has sent a photo]_

_Selfie time!!! It’s us, David, Trent and his bf Jamal!_

_Enjoy the show Kurt_ 🤩 🤩 🤩

* * *

After the show, everyone goes to Rachel and Jesse’s place to party. Adam, Elliott and Elliott’s new boyfriend Luke also show up. Only Dani is missing, but she's still hung up on Santana. It’s a lot of fun. Mercedes, Brittany and Santana have the next day off, so they can party.

Kurt manages to let Mercedes sign a poster, a CD, a tote bag, a keychain, a rubber bracelet and a t-shirt. Only the caps were sold out, otherwise Mercedes would’ve signed that as well.

When Kurt sends a photo of all the signed merch to Blaine, Blaine immediately calls him so that he and his friends can thank Mercedes over the phone.

“Ms. Jones, this is incredible!” Wes yells excitedly.

“We owe you big, big time!” the guy who’s introduced himself as Trent says loudly.

“Thad has been your fan since day one,” the other unknown man, David, says happily, “His mom bought a CD on a parking lot one day and he gave it to Thad. Next thing he knows, he’s absolutely in love with your voice!”

Mercedes blushes. The men on the other side of the line can’t see it, obviously, so Mercedes says: “I only sold three CDs that day. One by Kayne’s cleaning lady and apparently one by Thad’s mom. I wonder who has the third.”

“Thad cherishes his exclusive CD with his whole heart,” Blaine says, “I should tell him that he has one of the only three CDs in the world.”

“Ms. Jones, truly, if there’s anything we can do, say the word. We’re very grateful to get all of this for free,” Wes says.

Mercedes makes it clear that everyone is free. Hearing that Thad’s been a fan since day one has given her a big confidence boost. After some more flailing, Kurt and Blaine are the only ones talking. Everyone’s partying, but Kurt’s talking to Blaine in the corner.

After a full hour, Trent calls Blaine for a game of trivia and they end the call.

Santana sees that as the time to sneak up on him.

“You sure you’re not cheating?” Santana asks.

“What the fuck, Santana?” Kurt hisses. Out of the corner of his eye, he can see Adam watching them.

“Hummel, your boyfriend is right there and instead of making out with him, you’ve been talking to your ‘just friends’ Blaine for an entire hour,” Santana snaps.

“Lower your fucking voice,” Kurt whispers, “I am not cheating on Adam and I don’t want him to think that I am, _since I am not_. You’re being dramatic, Santana.”

Santana looks at Kurt. Her stare still makes Kurt squirm.

“You really- Damn, Hummel, you really have no clue what is going on, do you?” she eventually says, “So let auntie Snix lay it down for you. I haven’t seen you and Adam in a shit long time, cause tour is kicking my ass. When we have our tearful reunion, the first thing you do is moan about how your new bestie cannot be here. Then, we all chill in the VIP section and you are smiling and blushing while texting him. Then, when Adam gets here, you ignore him so you can speak to Blaine. Doesn’t that sound a bit suspicious?”

“Uh…”

“Adam’s been looking sad all damn night,” Santana says, “I don’t see Adam as the jealous and possessive type, but honestly, if he gets moody and jealous over this then that is totally valid.”

Kurt looks around. Adam’s gone.

“Oh, shit, I have to find Adam.”

“Yeah, you should.”

Without a second thought, Kurt walks away from Santana. He’s looking around for Adam. Where did he go?

He pulls out his phone and he sends:

_> Miss you, where you at???_

To his horror, Blaine replies.

_> Uh… Florida?_

He’s so used to texting Blaine, that he’s automatically sent it to Blaine.

_> Shit. That was meant for Adam._ 😅😅😅 _I kinda lost him during this afterparty there are a lot of people here_

_> I hope you find him. Have a nice night, Kurt_

Kurt sends the message again and this time, he doubles checks to make sure that Adam’s gotten it. Adam replies that he’s at the bar, since Rachel and Jesse decided to turn some kitchen counters into a makeshift bar.

Adam is indeed standing at ‘the bar’ and he looks miserable. Kurt hates that he did that.

Was Santana right? Did it look like he was cheating? Kurt hasn’t noticed anything from Adam, but honestly, he hasn’t been paying too much attention to Adam. He needs to fix that.

Kurt puts a big smile on his face and when Adam sees it, he smiles back. The rest of the evening is a lot of fun and Kurt and Adam domineer the karaoke machine. Of course, Rachel and Jesse have a karaoke machine.

But Santana’s words have struck a chord. Afterwards, Kurt pays more attention to Adam and he’s sad to find out that Santana’s right. Months pass and it seems to get worse.

Every time Blaine gets mentioned, Adam gets this weird look on his face. When Blaine comes over to their apartment, Adam makes sure that he has other plans. When they’re hanging out with friends and Kurt and Blaine pair off, he sees Adam looking.

But Adam never says anything.

Santana must’ve gotten it wrong. She _must_ have. Kurt believes it.

Until one day it goes wrong.

* * *

Kurt’s about to leave the theatre to go to the bar with his co-stars. He asks Blaine to come along. Blaine doesn’t drink alcohol, but that doesn’t mean that they can’t go out for drinks. It was a terrible show, and Kurt needs to relax and unwind a bit. The cast occasionally needs to let loose and today is one of those days.

He texts Adam that he’s going out with Blaine and that Adam shouldn’t wait up, and off he goes.

No reaction. That’s odd, but Kurt shrugs it away.

The evening is nice and Kurt gets home around 1am. To his surprise, Adam is still awake. He’s in bed reading.

When they look each other, Adam looks very unhappy.

“Kurt, I think we need to talk about Blaine,” Adam says and he puts his book away.

“What’s with him?” Kurt asks.

“Well, you spend an awful lot of time with him,” Adam says and Kurt nods.

“Obviously, he’s my friend. Best friend, maybe. Are you jealous?” Kurt asks, confused. Adam’s never been jealous of Kurt spending time with a friend. Sure, Kurt’s seen Adam look more annoyed than before when Blaine’s around, but that is up to Adam. If Adam wants to be mad for no reason, then let him.

Adam looks stricken. “I know that this is going to make me sound bad, but yes.”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Kurt rolls his eyes and he turns around to walk away. He’s had a great night after all, but now he’s tired and he wants to get ready for bed. Adam didn’t even have to stay up, but he did with the intention of saying this.

Adam crawls out of bed. “No Kurt, don’t do that. Don’t walk away.”

“There’s nothing to walk away from,” Kurt says on his way to the bathroom.

“Let me just explain-”

“Explain what? There’s nothing to explain,” Kurt turns around to face Adam. Can this conversation end? He gets a bit annoyed. “Adam, please.”

“Again, Kurt, let me explain,” Adam says, but Kurt narrows his eyes.

“You’ve never acted like this before,” Kurt hisses and he crosses his arms. He’s not in the mood for this. He’s tired and he just wants to crawl into bed, but now his boyfriend is talking nonsense. “I hang out with Blaine. _So_? I also hang out a lot with Rachel and Kitty and Elliott. Are you jealous of them too? _No_!”

“That’s _different_!” Adam shouts back. He seems to have lost his cool. “That is a completely different situation!”

“How so?” Kurt shouts. He rubs his temples. He really, really is not in the mood for this.

“ _Because they are not in love with you_!” Adam yells out.

Kurt gapes at him.

Adam continues his rant.

“They are not in love with you, Kurt! That is the difference. Can’t you see that he’s trying to get close to you because he loves you? And sure, I trust you, but I barely know him and I don't know what he is thinking! But Blaine is hopelessly in love with you!”

Kurt shakes his head.

No.

No, this cannot be right. Blaine is a friend, nothing more.

“ _God_ , you really do believe it, don’t you?” Adam asks, perplexed, “You really believe that Blaine is hoping to just be friends.”

Kurt nods. Why are they fighting over this?

“Kurt, sweetheart, I am not liking this any more than you do,” Adam says seriously, “And I trust you. That’s why I never said anything about it, because I never believed that you would cheat on me, but this also really sucks for me. You _gotta_ see what I’ve been seeing!”

What is Adam seeing? That’s what Kurt wonders. Kurt and Blaine hang out a lot and that’s it. And sure, when they’re in group settings, they often gravitate towards each other. And okay, when they’re not in the same place, they text a lot.

But Kurt texts Kitty a lot too. That’s the same thing. Right?

“Think about it, Kurt,” Adam says. He no longer sounds mad, but he just sounds desperate, “He’s been in the city for almost one and a half year. He’s gotten to know people. He still spends every free day with you.”

“Blaine- he’s not in love with me,” Kurt says, but now that he’s actually listened to Adam, it starts to make sense.

Blaine is always there. Kurt never minded, because he always wants Blaine to be there, but Blaine never refuses. He drops everything to be there if needed. When Blaine’s super hot brother visited him in the city, Kurt was the only one who got to meet him. Okay, Adam was there too, but that’s because Kurt was there. Blaine didn’t introduce Cooper to his other new friends. Blaine is always replying fast to texts, as if he’s waiting for them. Blaine shares music with him. Not even Wes gets to hear what he’s working on.

And sometimes, there’s a lingering look. Kurt catches those looks, but he never really took the time to dissect what those looks mean.

Until now.

“Blaine is not in love with me,” Kurt says again, but Adam raises an eyebrow at the tone. Adam cocks his head and he looks Kurt straight in the eyes.

“You still think so?”

“He- he can’t be,” Kurt says, but his voice becomes more unsure. Kurt shakes his head, but at this point it’s to convince himself, not Adam. After all, Adam keeps staring at him. Desperately, he cries out: “Adam, Blaine can’t be in love with me. He’s basically my best friend.”

Adam sighs and he pulls Kurt close. Kurt’s shaking in his arms. He does not want this to make sense. But it does. Kurt tries to think back and even though he’s tired, he tries to analyse Blaine’s actions and words.

“Oh God, you’re right,” Kurt says shakingly.

“I’m sorry,” Adam says quietly, “I did not mean to upset you, but it’s been upsetting me for a long time. I needed to speak up.”

Kurt nods and he buries his face in Adam’s chest.

“I love you,” Kurt says, “I love _you_ and _only_ you.”

“Well, if you had wanted Blaine to fall in love with you, then you wouldn’t be shaking in my arms,” Adam deadpans, which makes Kurt snort.

“… Yeah.”

“It was obvious to me, though,” Adam says sadly, “I expected that you didn’t know, but I wasn’t sure and it was eating me up. I needed to know. I needed _you_ to know about this.”

Adam is right. Now that Kurt’s thinking about it, it really seems obvious.

“Do you think others know?” Kurt asks him.

Adam nods. “Kurt, I think you just didn’t want to see the truth.”

“… Then what happens now?” Kurt asks, “I love you and I am with you. And I am still friends with Blaine and I enjoy being friends with Blaine, but if it makes you uncomfortable-”

“Kurt, shhhh,” Adam says and he deepens the embrace, “I don’t- I know you’re _friends_. I don’t want to change that. That’s another reason why I never said anything before now, because I didn’t want you to think that I want you to stop being friends, but I also kind of hoped that Blaine’s crush would ebb away.”

“But it hasn’t,” Kurt concludes.

“It hasn’t.”

“… How long have you known?”

Adam frowns. He thinks about it for a while.

“Honestly, I think it was always there,” Adam says sadly, “Again, I don’t want to, like, forbid you from seeing him, but now that you know, I hope you understand my position. And I hope you understand why Blaine is so close.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Hey, hey, _no_ , you did nothing wrong,” Adam says, “And honestly, neither did Blaine. This just sucks.”

Kurt nods. “You know that I only have eyes for you.”

After a small beat of silence, Adam says: “Of course.”

Kurt did not like that small moment of silence, but he’s too exhausted to care. He tells Adam that he wants to sleep, so Adam goes back to the bedroom and Kurt goes to the bathroom to do his evening skin routine.

He watches himself in the mirror and he grapples the sink. He lets out a deep breath.

Should he have known? It is so obvious now that’s in the open. And if Adam believes that others might’ve noticed too, then why didn’t he?

God, people _have_ told him, haven’t they? Santana even accused him of cheating. Santana was right and afterwards, Kurt paid some more attention, but even with the evidence right in front of his face, he refused to see it.

So, should this have been such a surprise? And why is Kurt’s reaction so emotional? He’s had guys crush on him before.

But this is Blaine. Adam’s right. That is the difference.

When Kurt crawls into bed, Adam’s already asleep with his back turned towards him.

* * *

What do you do when you realise that one of your closest friends is in love with you?

You set them up with someone else.

Kurt’s co-star Jude is very sweet and very single. Blaine and Jude seemed to hit it off during that night at the bar. He’s the perfect guy for Blaine. Kurt knows what he has to do.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... the four chapters thing didn’t work out. I’m now planning on five chapters. Someone help me.
> 
> But even though I am still incapable of writing short things, I am pushing through this timeline. This chapter chunkingly covers a couple of months, since there are (possibly confusing) time jumps. I’ll post another timeline after the story is finished.

**ADAM**

In hindsight, Adam should’ve seen it coming. He remembers the first time Kurt mentioned Blaine. He was gushing about this random guy he met on Broadway and how he wishes he could talk to him again.

And back then, Adam didn’t think about it, but he should’ve seen it coming. Kurt is a very private person. He doesn’t connect with anyone that easily. But that meeting made Adam happy. He was happy that Kurt got a new friend. His co-stars from The Street are nice, but they’re not super close.

Adam cannot pinpoint the exact moment he realised that Blaine’s in love with Kurt, but when it did, it made sense. Kurt now knows too and the realisation was shocking for him. Adam can understand, because when he realised, he also panicked about it.

It’s been right in front of everyone’s noses, yet no one saw it. Or better yet: no one wanted to see it.

* * *

When Adam opens the front door, he’s very confused to see Blaine standing there. He and Kurt have grown apart, since Kurt tried to distance himself from Blaine. He’s told Kurt to not treat Blaine differently, but Kurt must’ve gotten uncomfortable with the situation as well. They’re still friends and they hang out plenty, but everyone can see that it’s become less.

Before the revelation, Blaine dropped in unannounced a lot, but that’s decreased a lot. So, that is the main reason why Adam’s confused to see him now.

“Hey, Adam, sorry to just drop in like that at this late hour, but I kinda really need to talk to Kurt,” Blaine says.

Adam wants to scoff, but then Adam takes in Blaine’s appearance. His clothes are ruffled, his hair is a mess, and he looks stressed. Adam’s insides churn at the idea of Kurt and Blaine having alone time, but seeing Blaine so dishevelled makes Adam have a change of heart.

“Come in, you look like a fright,” Adam says, “He’s in the living room.”

Kurt looks a bit shocked to see both Adam and Blaine coming from the hallway.

“Kurt, I’m gonna go to our room,” Adam says, “I think you might need some privacy.”

Blaine gives him a thankful look.

God, Adam wishes that he could hate him, but Blaine really is a great guy, and before Adam realised that Blaine’s in love with Kurt, he saw themselves becoming friends.

Once Adam is in the bedroom, he tries to concentrate on something else, but his mind wanders. He trusts Kurt, truly, but does he trust Blaine? Blaine does not seem to hide his feelings, but as far as Adam knows, he also has stayed away.

Blaine loves Kurt, but he respects that Kurt is dating Adam.

Or so it seems.

But still. Adam’s mind is filled with the many ‘what if’ questions. Adam… well, he can listen through the door.

Adam debates whether or not that is a good thing to do. He doesn’t want to be that guy who eavesdrops. He trusts Kurt. Really. Really. Really.

But Blaine? Does he trust Blaine?

Adam silently shuffles towards the door and he puts his ear against it.

“- so afraid I’m going to mess up,” Blaine says. He sounds like he’s been crying and Adam immediately regrets his decision. What is he doing? “I haven’t been on a date in _years_ , since high school even. You know about my terrible ex and how he destroyed everything. And when Jude asked me out I freaked out and I- I am- I can’t do this.”

“Blaine, Jude is a great guy and so are you. You can do this,” Kurt says.

“I’m just afraid to, well, to feel. I have only been in love once since Sebastian and that also completely crushed me. I can’t do this.”

Blaine sounds so panicked and Adam hates himself for listening. He immediately moves away from the door in disgust and he falls face down on the bed.

What’s become of him?

His small moment of weakness made him act like an possessive arse which led to him overhearing something deeply personal.

But now he does know that Blaine is trying to go on a date with someone. This actually confuses Adam, since it is so clear that he’s head over heels in love with Blaine. Maybe Adam shouldn’t question it. After all, this is what he wants.

* * *

Rachel’s birthday falls in December and every year, she throws a big party. She stuffs as many people as possible into her and Jesse’s small apartment and it somehow works.

Rachel wants to be adored, so everyone is welcome. As a result, a lot of people always ask others to come with. Adam always goes with Kurt.

This time, Blaine is bringing his boyfriend Jude. Adam’s actually met him before, since Adam’s met all of Kurt’s co-stars. The fact that Blaine’s bringing Jude with him means that it’s official. 

It eases Adam’s mind.

Blaine spends most of the evening with Jude, not Kurt. Adam watches Jude and Blaine dance and laugh together. Kurt’s nowhere near. Instead, he’s talking with Jesse about a possible Broadway adaption of The Street.

Adam has a relaxed smile on his face. This is how it is supposed to be.

“God, if I see one more couple making out in front of me…,” he hears. Wes is standing next to him with an unamused look on his face. He’s holding a beer, so Adam clinks their beer bottles together.

Adam likes Wes. They’ve clicked right from the very beginning. Adam loves being an actor, but he’s also intrigued in the behind the scenes stuff, so he loves listening to Wes’s story about the law department of the industry.

They don’t see each other that often outside of group gatherings like this, but this is enough for them. Or it was. Sometimes, Adam wish that they did have a more deeper friendship, but that’s because he is afraid to ask Wes about Blaine.

“No one special in your life?” Adam asks.

“Nope, and I know that being single isn’t a bad thing, but I am sad and alone.”

“I have to be sure, but you’re a heterosexual, right?” Adam asks and Wes snorts.

“Unfortunately,” he answers, “If I weren’t, then I totally would’ve gone for Blaine.”

Maybe, this is the opening that Adam needs.

“A shame for you, but he’s dating Jude now,” Adam says. Both Adam and Wes look at Blaine and Jude. They’ve moved to a corner and they’re kissing. Wes wrinkles his nose in mock disgust.

“Another damn couple,” Wes says and Adam laughs.

“Do you think they’re, uh, right together? I mean, you’re his best friend, so surely you must have an opinion,” Adam says. He tries not to sound nervous.

Wes shrugs. “I’m pretty certain I lost that title to Kurt. And yes, I indeed have an opinion, but Blaine does not need to know that.”

Adam raises an eyebrow. “Oh?”

Wes takes a long sip of his beer and he watches Blaine and Jude again. Adam tries to read the look on Wes’s face, but he can mask his emotions pretty well. That’s probably necessary for a career in law. One thing is certain though: Wes doesn’t seem super thrilled and he also doesn’t sound very enthusiastic.

“You think they’re not going to last long?” Adam tries to nudge Wes somewhere. Him staring blankly at Blaine and Jude is just uncanny.

Then, Wes relents. “He might surprise me, but no.”

Adam also looks back to Blaine and Jude. They’re giggling together while Jude has his arm around Blaine.

“They look pretty close from here,” Adam says, but he only says it in hopes of making Wes talk.

As expected, Wes comes with a counterpoint. “Yeah, but I think that it’s just, like, a fling. It’s cute for a while, but it’s not gonna last. Blaine is- he cannot do that.”

“How so?” Adam asks. He’s fishing. He needs Wes to confirm everything that Adam knows. Only Wes can do that.

Wes sighs deeply and he uses his free hand to rub his temple. “Look, lemme just say that I think that Jude is a distraction that will not work on the long run.”

It’s close enough, but it’s not what Adam needs.

_Fuck it_.

Adam takes a swig from his beer. He lowers his voice and says: “Is it because he’s in love with Kurt?”

Wes’s also drinking his beer, so he almost chokes in it. That’s basically the confirmation that Adam needs. Wes might have a great poker face when he needs it, but now Adam’s thrown him off-guard completely.

Wes coughs loudly, which causes some people, including Kurt, to look. Adam pats his back and he waits for Wes to be able to breathe again.

“You’re fucking funny, Crawford!” Wes says loudly through the coughs.

“I’m not trying to be,” Adam says.

Wes coughs one last time. Then he rolls his eyes.

“I know that, but now people think that I almost choked because you told me a joke or something,” Wes whispers.

Adam looks around. It’s true that people have stopped looking at them. Kurt and Jesse are continuing their conversation as if nothing’s happened.

“I’m right, aren’t I?” Adam asks. He’s always felt sure, but now that it is confirmed, there’s no going back. Kurt believes him, but it’s still great to know that he was truly right.

“Since day one,” Wes admits and he shakes his head sadly, “He was absolutely heartbroken when he found out about you.”

“Ah.”

“I think Jude is just a distraction from Kurt, which honestly isn’t really fair to Jude,” Wes sighs disapprovingly, “Jude is a decent guy.”

“Then how did they even meet? Jude is in The Street, so did Blaine go see the show again?” Adam asks. He’s still fishing.

Wes frowns. “You don’t know? Kurt introduced him to Blaine.”

Now, it’s Adam’s time to almost choke on his beer. As a result, Wes is now the one patting Adam on the back.

“You didn’t know?” Wes asks and Adam shakes his head, since he’s still unable to speak. Once again, people are staring, so Wes gives everyone a thumbs up.

“What the fuck,” Adam says when he’s finally able to speak, “Why is Kurt doing that?”

Wes shrugs. “I don’t know. You tell me.”

Kurt finds out that Blaine’s in love with him and he immediately sets him up with a co-star? It strangely warms Adam’s heart. Kurt is also hoping that Blaine’s love will go away.

But Wes doesn’t seem to agree. Adam hopes that Wes is wrong.

* * *

Wes is right.

* * *

The whole friend group is having a potluck dinner at Kurt and Adam’s place. They all have been super busy, so this is the first potluck dinner in a long time and it’s the first one of the new year. It’s weird to believe that they’re in 2019, which is the last year of the decade.

Jude and Roderick couldn’t make it, but Blaine and Kitty still seem to have fun. At one point, Blaine excuses himself. Since they’re all in the middle of a great dinner and interesting conversations, Adam doesn’t pay attention to him.

At one point, Adam leaves the table to go to the bathroom, but in the hallway, he runs into Blaine. Blaine is looking down at his phone and he looks a bit confused and sad. When Blaine looks up, he almost drops his phone when he sees Adam.

"Adam?" Blaine is startled to see Adam looking at him.

Adam is worried, since Blaine looks very upset about something, so he says: "Hey Blaine, everything alright? You look like someone just murdered you."

"Well, I think I just got dumped over the phone."

Adam’s eyes widen.

"Blaine, shit, I'm sorry."

Blaine laughs bitterly.

"At least he had the decency to call me. It could've been worse. He could've dumped me through text.”

"He is an idiot for letting you go,” Adam says. It’s not a lie. Blaine is a great guy, but Adam doesn’t want him to be a great guy for Kurt. “Jude is stupid.”

Blaine shakes his head and sighs.

"No, it is my fault. I ruined it. I wasn't fully giving Jude the attention that he deserves," Blaine admits sadly, "Still wish he would've had the guts to break up with me in person, but it is what it is. I'm not the only coward, so that is something. But uhm, I should've done better."

Blaine shrugs sadly and he moves past Adam to go back to the table. Adam knows that he has to confront Blaine somehow, so before he can change his mind, he says: "It's because you're in love with Kurt."

Blaine's eyes widen and he starts to sputter out some words to protest, but Adam holds up his hands to silence him.

"I know, Blaine. I've known for a very long time."

Blaine is about to say something and even if he's going to give a half-assed defence, Adam will be fine with it. Blaine can deny it all, but Adam knows better and at least now Blaine knows that Adam knows.

But to his surprise, Blaine looks deeply ashamed and he says: "I'm sorry. I didn't mean for it to happen."

Blaine admitting it is kind of worse, because what does Adam do now? What do you say to the person who's in love with your partner? He again wishes that Blaine were some kind of asshole, since it’d be so easy to hate him, but he’s not. Adam cannot hate him.

Adam has no idea what to say, so he just says: "Yeah."

"Adam, I swear that we haven't- I haven't-"

"I know," Adam says, "And I respect you for not being a homewrecker. But you must understand why I am not super keen to see you two cosy up all the time."

"Sorry, I try to be a friend," Blaine says, "I'm not- I love him, but we're just friends. I wouldn't want to hurt him and he clearly loves you anyway. I thought that dating Jude would make me move on, but no. Really, I wouldn't even want to try to jeopardize your relationship."

Blaine's honesty hurts in a way. Adam has finally gotten the confirmation from Blaine that he is right, but he doesn't know what to do with it.

"Look, I'm not gonna tell you to 'stay the hell away from Kurt'. I'm not that kind of guy. I don't want to be the arse who forbids his partner from being a friend to someone. As much as I hate it, he cares about you."

Blaine nods

"And I'm also not gonna hate you for being in love with Kurt. It is an absolute privilege to be in love with him. I would know. I love him with my whole heart and that is why I am talking to you now. I will not stop you from seeing each other. I will not stop you from loving him, but I will do whatever I can to keep me and Kurt together. Understood?"

"Understood."

* * *

**BLAINE**

After the potluck, Blaine tries to call Jude several times, but it is all in vain.

Blaine doesn’t want to get back together, but he still wants to apologise.

After a week of Jude ignoring him, Blaine goes to the theatre. By now, the theatre staff recognise him, so he can go in easily after he’s registered himself at the entrance. He walks towards the dressing room and he knew that he was probably going to run into Kurt, but he’s still shocked to see him.

Kurt looks equally shocked. “Blaine, what are you doing here?”

“I need to talk to Jude,” Blaine tells him, “I need to apologise.”

“Yeah, Jude told me that the two of you broke up, I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine.”

“No I mean- I set you two up, but I guess I ended up setting you two up for heartbreak.”

Blaine waves it away. “We weren’t meant to be. We never were, honestly. But that still doesn’t mean that I should’ve acted like a shitty boyfriend.”

Blaine walks past Kurt to Jude’s dressing room, but then he feels Kurt’s hand on his shoulder. He hates that even now, it still makes his knees go weak. Being with Jude did nothing to change that, even though Blaine really tried.

Kurt turns Blaine around and he says: “Jude isn’t performing today. Deliah is taking over for him today.”

“Oh.”

“But I can tell him you came over.”

Blaine nods shortly. “Thanks. Uhm.”

Kurt quickly lets go of Blaine’s shoulder and the two of them stare at each other in an awkward silence, which is weird. They’ve never had an awkward silence before, but there’s something on Blaine’s mind, but he’s too afraid to say it. So, he stays silent and he watches Kurt, who looks uneasy.

Because really, why did Kurt set them up in the first place? It was so sudden and it broke Blaine’s heart to know that Kurt would rather see him with Jude than with Kurt himself, but Blaine tried and failed to move on.

Something’s changed and that led to Kurt playing a wingman. Blaine wants to know why but he’s afraid of the possible answer. He wonders if Kurt has realised that Blaine wants to be more than friends and that he got scared. Blaine’s never really tried to hide his feelings and since Kurt never seemed to notice, he didn’t bother to try.

And a part of Blaine hopes that Kurt came to the realisation that he likes him too and that _that_ scared him off, but Blaine knows that that’s just wishful thinking. He can’t really ask, can he?

So he leaves. He gives Kurt an even more awkward hug and he moves away.

“Uh. Bye.”

“Bye.”

* * *

Blaine’s in his room, feeling sad for himself and watching Netflix. He’s lying underneath the blanket and he’s curled up in a ball. He watches the laptop screen in silence.

Wes gives him a pitying look.

“I’ve never pitied you before, but here we are. We’ve reached that stage,” he says, “All you’re missing is a tub of ice cream.”

Blaine doesn’t react. His eyes are still fixated on the screen. He watches Lito and Hernando kiss and he lets out a deep sigh. He wants a relationship so badly. He thought he was fine being single, but he’s realised that it was a lie he told himself to protect himself, but now that he’s had it, he wants more.

Wes slams Blaine’s laptop shut and that makes Blaine protest.

“Wes! I’m heartbroken, let me watch Netflix!”

“You’re not heartbroken. You didn’t even love Jude,” Wes says. He takes the laptop and Blaine shoots him a challenging look, but Wes sees right through him.

“It’s not Jude I’m heartbroken about,” Blaine says.

“I know,” Wes says solemnly. Wes puts the laptop on Blaine’s desk. Then he grabs Blaine by the shoulders and he makes him sit up. Once Blaine’s up, Wes sits next to him and he takes some of the blanket.

“I hate that I like love,” Blaine says, “And I used Jude. I used him to try to get over Kurt and I used him to see if I can still date after Sebastian. The first part failed, but the second part made me realise that I can. But it’s not fair to Jude. It was never fair to him.”

Wes nods. “I know, but I think it’s best to leave Jude alone. He’s clearly upset. At least you feel bad. It would’ve been worse if you’d hurt him without feeling bad about it.”

Blaine frowns.

Wes rolls his eyes. “Out with it, Blainers.”

“Don’t call me that.”

“I will never stop calling you that.”

“You should.”

“Stop distracting me and tell uncle Wessie what’s bothering you.”

“I hate that you call yourself Wessie, because now I cannot annoy you with a terrible nickname.”

Wes snorts. “I’ve embraced the Wessie. Now spill.”

Some might say that Wes’s directness sounds rude and incredibly blunt, but in a way, it works for Blaine. Wes knows so.

So Blaine tells him: “Even though I know I hurt Jude by using him, I’m still glad I did it. Does that make me a bad person?”

“Why are you glad?” Wes asks, “Tell me first and then I’ll give you the final verdict.”

“Because it felt good to be liked,” Blaine admits, “Like I said, being with Jude for this short time made me realise I can still be in a relationship without feeling beaten down the entire time. Jude liked me. That was just nice, you know? It’s good to know that I can still be liked, maybe even loved.”

Wes nods a couple of times. “Yeah, fuck Sebastian.”

“I did that. It got boring after a while.”

Wes laughs loudly and he slaps Blaine on the back and even Blaine grins at that.

“But in all seriousness, it was nice to be liked by someone. I’ve worked so hard, but it’s still- I don’t think I’ll ever like myself again. But Jude made me feel liked without the everlasting gloom and doom called self-hatred hanging over me. It was nice. I missed it. It reminded me of the early Sebastian days before it all went wrong.”

“Again, screw Sebastian!” Wes yells.

“Again, that got boring.”

“I do not wanna know more!”

Blaine smirks. “At least we can joke about him now. Look how far we’ve come.”

“Yeah,” Wes says quietly.

Blaine looks at his friend. Wes’s stuck with him through all the shit and Blaine might never forgive himself for letting his friend suffer on his behalf, but it’s true that they have gotten far.

Still, something else about Sebastian is bothering him, and Blaine tells Wes so.

“How so?” Wes asks.

Blaine ducks his head in shame. “I- am I like him? I only realised after we broke up, but I used Jude to make myself feel better.”

“Oh, hell to the no!” Wes yells out, “No, no, no, Blaine. What the fuck? Why would you even think so? You never intended to hurt and use Jude!”

Blaine sighs. “Neither did Sebastian.”

That shuts Wes up. It’s a fact that Wes tries to deny, but it’s there. Looking back on it, Sebastian wasn’t actively trying to hurt Blaine. He just had no empathy in general and he was only caring about himself.

“Even so, you’re not like him,” Wes says, “You at least understand where you’ve gone wrong. I can’t imagine Sebastian ever realising that he was a shit boyfriend. I think that if you’d realised while dating Jude, you would’ve ended it.”

“… probably. It’s not fair to Jude.”

Wes claps his hands. “And that is why you’re not like Sebastian. He’s done a lot to you. He’s changed you in ways that might never fixed, but he’s not turned you into him. I mean, he’s tried. And I’m going to say it again – and please, no inappropriate sex joke this time – but _fuck Sebastian_. Fuck him. He’s in the past and we’re in fucking New York!”

“Taking New York City by storm, remember?” Blaine says. Wes nods again. Blaine sighs and says: “It’s not going well so far, but we’ll get there.”

Wes puts his head on Blaine’s shoulder. “Blaine, in all seriousness, know that you are always loved. It’s nice to hear that Jude made you realise you deserve love, but you also deserved that before you dated him.”

“… I’m trying.”

“I know.”

* * *

Blaine and relationships might not work out, but that doesn’t mean that his friends have shitty relationships as well.

Rachel and Jesse announce their engagement during another weekly potluck and everyone’s cheering loudly. Rachel cries when she shows off the ring and Jesse recounts loudly how he proposed on the empty stage of The Mink Coat.

Wes opens a fancy bottle of wine and Roderick decides to sing as a celebration. Kurt immediately starts to plan the wedding, which makes Adam laugh.

Blaine watches Kurt and Adam. Kurt sees him watching and he raises an eyebrow, but he doesn’t look annoyed. Maybe Blaine’s looking too much into it, but sometimes Blaine wonders if Kurt wants to be noticed by him.

It’s probably wishful thinking.

Something’s definitely changed between him and Kurt. Blaine doesn’t want to theorise, but he can’t help but think a lot about Kurt’s recent actions. He became more distant, he set Blaine up with Jude, he keeps wanting to be noticed… Now, the latter might be Blaine seeing things he wants to see, but there are some mixed signals.

He just wishes he could figure out what Kurt’s thinking.

Blaine looks away and instead he focuses on Rachel and Jesse, who apparently want to get married before 2020, so that they can start the new decade as a married couple. Blaine offers to help wherever he can.

“Well, you can start by getting us all a refill!” Jesse jokes and he hands the empty bottle towards Blaine.

He sighs and walks towards the kitchen.

There, he finds Kurt and Kitty. Blaine hadn’t even noticed that Kurt had moved to the kitchen. The two look at each other for a second, but Kitty interrupts their moment by yelling: “Yay, booze!”

She takes the bottle from Blaine and pouts when she realises it’s empty.

“Jesse asked me to get another one.”

“Ah, that tracks. Lemme get the new one,” Kitty says and she opens the fridge.

Blaine’s about to take the new bottle, but Kitty winks and she walks out, leaving Kurt and Blaine alone. Blaine tries not to turn red. He’s never told Kitty, but he’s pretty sure everyone knows that he’s in love with Kurt anyway.

Blaine refuses to make it go awkward again, so he quickly says: “Man, crazy to think that Rachel’s getting married, huh?”

Kurt rolls his eyes. “Oh God, yes. Well, it’s a sign of growing up. I’m happy that she’s happy with Jesse, though. Finn would’ve approved.”

“Of Jesse?” Blaine raises an eyebrow. He’s heard some stories about Kurt’s glee days and he’s told Blaine that Finn and Jesse used to fight over Rachel.

“Of her happiness,” Kurt explains.

“Ah, yes, that makes sense.”

“I sometimes still wish it were him,” Kurt says sadly. He shakes his head a couple of times and he blinks. He looks away, but when Blaine hears a sniff, he tries to make Kurt look at him.

“Kurt?”

Kurt tries to hide his tears, but it is useless.

“Sorry, I am happy for her! Really!”

“And I believe you,” Blaine reassures him.

“It’s almost been six years.”

“The pain will probably never go, but it’d be weird if you’d wake up one day and go ‘oh boy, my brother’s death no longer matters!’.”

Kurt laughs through the tears. “Yeah, that’d be a dick move.”

Blaine spreads his arms. “Come here.”

A part of Blaine expects a stand-off reaction, since Kurt’s been distant and they haven’t really hugged in a while, but Kurt lets Blaine wrap his arms around him. Blaine holds him close while Kurt cries over the loss of his brother.

The two of them hold each other. The party noises are in the background, but Blaine blocks them out. They can go back to celebrating Rachel and Jesse later.

Kurt has his head in the crook of Blaine’s neck the entire time, and when he pulls away, he’s no longer crying. The two of them are still holding each other, but now, Kurt’s staring at Blaine intensely. Blaine tries not to gulp. He’s so close, he’s afraid he’s going to kiss Kurt, and he’s not like that.

Blaine’s about to fully pull away, but Kurt’s stare keeps him put. Really, Blaine tries to resist the urge to lean in and kiss him.

But then, Kurt’s gaze flickers to Blaine’s lips and the next thing Blaine knows, Kurt’s the one who’s leaning in.

Everything’s gone completely silent and Blaine is stunned. Kurt’s about to kiss _him_. Blaine tries not to flail, but then he realises where they are and what is happening and something in Blaine snaps. _Wait._

And then Blaine puts his hand on Kurt’s chest and he pushes him back. Kurt’s eyes widen when he sees that Blaine shakes his head.

They’re in Rachel and Jesse’s kitchen. All their friends are on the other side of the door. Kurt’s _boyfriend_ is close by. Blaine doesn’t fully understand what Kurt’s thinking, but he’s not interested in becoming a homewrecker.

So Blaine pushes Kurt away.

“No,” he says quietly, “Not like this.”

Kurt blinks a couple of times and then he takes a step back in shock. His eyes are still wide and his fingers touch his lips. It’s as if he’s just realised what was about to happen and Kurt doesn’t look pleased about it.

“What- oh. Oh, no, no, no,” Kurt says, sounding shocked. He takes more steps back.

Blaine’s more confused than ever. A few seconds ago, Kurt was about to kiss him, but now the thought of kissing Blaine seems to upset Kurt.

Blaine holds up his hands and presses his lips together. He tries not to be hurt, since this isn’t an official rejection, but this entire situation is messing with his head.

“Let me- let me get this straight,” Blaine says shakingly, “I want you. Okay? This is not the confession that I had in mind, but I want to kiss you, but I can’t- You can’t keep doing this to me. I wasn’t going to do anything, especially since you’re _dating_ someone, but what do you want from me here? I won’t be a homewrecker. I won’t be your man on the side, and I’m not gonna force you to break up with Adam. But you gotta choose, Kurt. Don’t- Don’t-”

Blaine steadies his breathing before continuing.

“Don’t play with my heart like this. I know it’s probably not your intention to do so, but you can’t be a happy boyfriend to Adam one minute and then almost kiss me the next, especially since you probably know that I’ve been in love with you ever since we met. Don’t do that.”

Kurt seems lost for words, so Blaine gives him a decisive nod and he walks out of the kitchen. He wants to find Wes to tell him that he’s going home, but then to his utter annoyance he sees Wes talking animatedly to _Adam_ , so Blaine turns around and leaves without a word.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woah, another Kurt POV. This guy can’t seem to share chapters, but otherwise it was going to be too long. I try to have all chapters between 3K - 5K. It still looks like there are going to be 5 chapters, but I might surprise myself.

**KURT**

The thing with the almost kiss is simple: Kurt cannot stop thinking about it. It’s been a week since the kiss and he hasn’t seen Blaine since. Normally, a week without seeing each other is extremely rare, even with their current more distanced friendship, but now Blaine seems to avoid Kurt.

Which is weird, honestly. Blaine’s been in love with Kurt all this time and everyone knows it, but now he suddenly decides to ignore Kurt. Kurt hates it, because even though Blaine is not physically present, he’s constantly on his mind.

Not only that, but Kurt… well, Kurt was the one who initiated it. Blaine stopped it right before they actually kissed, but Kurt’s afraid that if Blaine hadn’t done that, that he would’ve gone through with it.

What does that say about Kurt?

He’s tried to justify it for himself by reminding himself that he was an emotional mess. He was stuck between being happy for Rachel and feeling sad about Finn, and that led to some questionable side emotions, but that honestly makes no sense. He can’t say: _Hey, I’m sad about my dead brother, so let’s kiss!_

For the entire week, he’s in a weird haze. Everyone notices. Adam asks him if everything is alright and what he can do to make it better, Kitty sends him some selfies of herself with question marks, Rachel and Jesse are confused why Kurt isn’t in full wedding planning more.

Every night, when he lies down next to Adam, he feels incredibly guilty. He didn’t do anything, but he almost did and the almost shouldn’t have been there. Adam’s stopped kissing him goodnight, since Kurt instinctively pulled away every night. It didn’t feel right, knowing that he almost cheated on him. Kurt feels like he doesn’t deserve Adam’s affections.

Adam doesn’t ask. He never does. Even though they’ve been together for four years, they know that some things are left unsaid. Kurt’s always had problems opening up and Adam always felt too nervous to talk about things, so he waits it out. The rare deep conversations are always emotionally harrowing, like the time Adam told Kurt that Blaine’s in love with him.

This doesn’t mean that Kurt and Adam aren’t in a loving and caring relationship. They love each other. They’re each other’s families and his dad and Carole adore Adam in the same way that Adam’s parents adore Kurt. They don’t always need to talk, since they understand each other without words. And when something seriously bothers one of them, they still talk. They just prefer not to and it works for them.

But all of that changed when Blaine arrived in the city almost two years ago.

The same way Kurt refused to see that Blaine’s obviously in love with him, he refused to see that something changed between him and Adam since then.

And the kiss has accidentally made Kurt realise why. Blaine’s not only in love with Kurt, but Kurt’s in love with Blaine too.

* * *

When Kurt realised that Blaine’s love for him was right in front of him the entire time, he was still in deep shock even though he could’ve seen it coming.

Same thing now.

Kurt tries to look back on the past. It all started at the very beginning. Kurt so desperately wanted ‘to be friends’ with Blaine. The week between their first meeting and Blaine showing up at The Street was filled with Blaine. He talked Adam’s ears off whilst talking about Blaine.

He keeps telling everyone that he’s never clicked with a person this fast, not even Adam. He always wants Blaine to be around, even after Kurt found out that Blaine’s in love with him and that it hurt Adam. The moment he started prioritising Blaine over Adam, it should’ve fallen in place.

Just like before, Kurt just didn’t want to see it.

Another week passes, but now Kurt’s also absolutely confused and a mess about this. He even has troubles looking at Adam. Adam has gone as far as trying to make Kurt talk, which is not their usual way of dealing with things.

Kurt needs to talk to someone, but he can’t tell Adam. What is he going to do with Adam? He also cannot tell Blaine. He cannot tell his dad either, since he hasn’t told him any of this yet. Kitty, Jesse and Rachel are too close by, and Wes is too close to Blaine.

Then, it hits him. Kurt grabs his phone and he looks for Roderick’s number.

_> hey are you home?_

_> Yes_

_> can I come over?_

_> Kitty isn't home tho_

_> I know. I need to talk to you actually_

Kurt doesn’t wait for a reply. He grabs his coat and he practically runs towards Kitty and Roderick's apartment. Luckily, all his friends live close by.

Roderick seems confused when he opens the door.

"Again, Kitty isn't here."

"Again, I'm here to talk to you."

"Why?" Roderick asks, but he lets Kurt in anyway.

"Because even though we like each other, we aren't super close friends and I need someone more objective," Kurt says.

"You sound stressed," Roderick points out, which makes Kurt laugh. Roderick is out here stating the obvious.

"I am stressed," Kurt says. He hasn’t felt a moment of peace ever since he found out that he is in love with his best friend.

"Uh, do you want some water?" Roderick asks awkwardly.

Kurt laughs again. He is endearing. "No, I need to talk to you. Please don't tell Kitty or anyone what I'm about to say. They're big gossips and they... well, they are too close by. Like I said, I need someone who's more distanced from all of this."

"I mean, sure, I hate gossip and it is true that we're not super close. I think this is actually the first time we've talked on our own."

"... yeah. I think so too."

"Which is partly my fault, since I am still trying to not call you Mr. Hummel, even though it's been years."

Kurt shakes his head. "No, it is both our faults, since I never put much effort in it either."

They both stand awkwardly in the living room. Roderick breaks the awkward silence.

"So, what is up?"

Since there's no easy way to say it, Kurt decides to just blurt it out.

"I think I'm in love with Blaine."

He looks away in shame and he waits for a shocked reaction, but it remains silent. When Kurt dares to look at Roderick again, Roderick just seems a bit confused.

"Uhm, yeah, I know," he says.

Now, Kurt expected a scandalised gasp, or a shocked look, or a face filled with contempt since Kurt is still dating Adam.

But this?

"You know?" Kurt asks.

"Well, doesn't everyone? It is pretty obvious."

" _WHAT_?" Kurt yells out.

"I mean, it is pretty obvious to me," Roderick quickly says, "I have no idea if others know. As I said, I don't do gossip, not even with my gossip loving girlfriend. And because of that, I didn't want to pry. You're right, Kurt, we don't talk so I decided that whatever was going on was your business and Kitty never mentioned everything, so I kind of assumed that you, Adam and Blaine were figuring it out. And if Kitty knew, then she probably wasn't gonna tell me, since this stuff is personal."

Kurt is absolutely shocked. He was so certain that all of this would be a shocking revelation, but now Roderick has swept him off his feet in a bad way. While Kurt is standing silently, processing all of this, Roderick continues talking.

"I mean, I knew from the moment I met Blaine. At first, I mistook him for Adam since it was so clear that you two love each other. But then Adam appeared and not much later, Blaine started dating Jude, but it was always on the back of my mind. And then the short-lived Blude romance ended, so I decided to just wait it out since it is obviously not up to me to decide. But it’s been so long, so a part of me was wondering if the three of you were going to continue as the three of you.”

Kurt remains silent and Roderick gives him an embarrassed look.

"But it wasn't obvious to you, was it? Shit, sorry, again, I thought you knew."

Kurt blinks a couple of times.

"So, do you want a glass of water after all?" Roderick asks, "Or vodka. I can break into the liquor cabinet if needed."

"Yeah," Kurt says when he's finally regained the ability to speak, "Let's break into that motherfucker."

Roderick winks. "Atta boy. I don't drink pure, but I can make a mix. Did Kitty tell you I used to bartend?"

"Give me something strong, my former student!" Kurt says.

Roderick laughs and he goes to the kitchen. Kurt falls down on the couch. His mind is still spinning.

Blaine being in love with him? Yeah, he's gotten gotten used to it by now and that truly was obvious from the start. Kurt just didn't want to see it.

But this too?

Kurt once again tries to look back on the past months. By now he's pinpointed moments where it was apparent that Blaine loves him, but are there also moments that Kurt just wished to ignore.

According to Roderick, he knew the moment he first saw Kurt and Blaine together. Does this mean that Kurt tried to ignore that too?

Roderick comes back with two drinks and Kurt asks Roderick to give him examples of when it was 'obvious' that Kurt's in love with Blaine.

To Kurt's horror, Roderick has a long list.

"Honestly, this should be a drinking game," Roderick says after he's listed the tenth example, "Take a shot every time it's obvious that Kurt and Blaine are in love with each other."

"Well, then we'd all die of alcohol poisoning, wouldn't we?" they hear.

Kitty is standing in the door frame with her arms crossed, and the look on her face can best be described as a mix between amused and concerned.

"Kitty?"

"She does this sometimes," Roderick says, "She sneaks in silently and then she scares the hell out of me."

Kitty looks at the drinks in their hands.

"Ah, are we getting drunk today?" she says, "If we play that alcohol game then we're gonna be sloshed soon."

"You knew too?" Kurt yells out.

"About you and Blaine being in love? Yeah," Kitty deadpans, "I can’t believe you admitted it to Roderick first. Rachel technically wins the bet now."

"What?" both Kurt and Roderick say.

"Oh, Rach and I have a bet. Five dollars for me if Kurt comes to me first. Five dollars for her if Kurt goes to someone else first. Shit, she expected it to be her or maybe even Santana or Mercedes, but no one expected Rod to take the price."

Roderick whispers: "I told you that she loves gossip."

"Rachel knows too?" Kurt asks.

"I think everyone does," Kitty says.

"Then why did no one tell me!" Kurt yells, suddenly feeling betrayed. He's been stuck with this confusion for a while now and he felt like he had no one to talk to, but apparently everyone talked about it behind his back.

Kitty sighs sadly. "Because we didn't know how to tell you, babe."

"What?"

"It was clear that everyone knew apart from you," Kitty says, "How would you have reacted if I just dumped that on you out of the blue? 'Hey Kurt, you def wanna bang your bestie!'? You would've hated me for it and not because of the obnoxious language."

Kurt and Kitty stare at each other intensely. Roderick clears his throat and he tells the others that he's going back to the kitchen to mix a drink for Kitty.

"Roderick knew too," Kurt tells her when Roderick is out of sight.

"I never talked about it with him, but that makes sense," Kitty says. She sighs deeply and she sits down next to Kurt. "What made you realise?"

Kurt tells her about the almost kiss two weeks ago and how it’s messed him up. He makes it very clear that he wasn’t thinking rationally, otherwise he wouldn’t have done it. But even though he’s tried to deny it, he has realised that he wanted that kiss to happen.

“Well, about fucking time,” Kitty says, “I mean, I saw you two in the kitchen and I decided to yeet the fuck out of there.”

“Oh?” Kurt raises an eyebrow.

“I mean, I’m not the one to condone cheating. I know I’m a glee club gal, but fuck that. It ruined my parents’ marriage. Yet, when I saw an opportunity to give you two some alone time, I bolted out of that kitchen,” Kitty says, “I didn’t expect you two to almost kiss, but I did hope for at least _something._ I think everyone’s tired of this dance.”

"So, everyone knows?"

Kitty nods.

"Even Wes? Jesse?"

Another nod.

Kurt rests his head in his hands and he groans.

"Kurt, I think that even Blaine knows," Kitty tells him.

"He- what?"

At that moment, Roderick comes back with a drink and he hums in agreement.

Kitty gladly accepts her drink and she continues to say: "I mean, I have no clue. He's never told anyone whether or not he knows. Maybe Wes, but if so, then Wes has kept that a secret. But we all know that Blaine's loved you from the beginning and somewhere in the past almost two years it started to make sense that you're in love with him too."

"Yeah," Roderick says, "It just became obvious at a point. You loving him was probably also always there, but it took a bit longer for us to realise. Blaine wears his emotions on his sleeve, but you do not."

“Honestly, I only realised, like, a year ago,” Kitty says, “I don’t know when Jesse and Mercedes realised, but Rachel only fucking realised a month ago or so. But she did it!”

“Again, obvious!” Roderick adds.

Kitty seems hesitant to say something, so Kurt tells her to spill it.

She still looks a bit conflicted, but she says: "Kurt, I'm pretty certain that Adam knows."

"Adam?" Kurt says, alarmed. His eyes widen in panic. "Oh, no, no, _no_!"

He looks at Roderick. Based on the look on Roderick's face, he seems to agree.

"I mean, I told you, I was under the impression that you, Blaine and Adam were figuring it out," Roderick says and he shrugs.

"This cannot be happening!" Kurt yells, "I love Adam! Truly, I do. You guys have to believe me!"

"And I do," Kitty says, "You care a lot about him, but you just love Blaine more. And you're still in love with Adam, but it's ending. You're falling out of love."

Kurt gets up. He staggers and almost falls. Despite the alcohol, he's not drunk. He's only had one drink, but his mind is spinning anyway. This is all too much. He can feel himself tear up.

"I never wanted any of this to happen," he says and his voice breaks, "I never wanted to fall out of love with Adam. I- I-"

Roderick tries to make Kurt sit down again, but Kurt shakes him off.

"I have to go home. I have to fix this."

"And do what?" Kitty asks, "Kurt, you cannot stop this from happening."

"Yes! Yes, I can!"

Kurt basically runs out of their apartment after that. He hears Kitty and Roderick yell after him, but Kurt exits the building and he runs back home.

Adam. He needs Adam. He needs to show everyone, including himself, that he loves Adam more.

Once he’s home, he sees Adam sitting in at the dining table with his laptop in front of him. When Adam hears the door, he looks up.

“Honey, I’m home!”

Adam’s face remains neutral, but when he says “And what sort of time do you call this”, it sounds hesitant, as if Adam’s wondering if they still have that inside joke.

“ _Adam_ , I love you!” Kurt blurts out.

Now, Adam’s face changes. He looks downright confused. He’s not supposed to be confused to hear that Kurt loves him and Kurt tries not to panic. It looks like Kitty was right. Adam probably thought that Kurt is planning on breaking up with him.

Kurt has to fix this. All of this has to go back to the way it was.

“What?” Adam says after a long silence.

“I love you,” Kurt repeats. He is still standing in the doorway. He’s too afraid to move closer. God, he’s fucked up so much. “I love you and I am so sorry for the past two weeks. I can’t- I don’t think I can tell you what was going on, but I shouldn’t have pushed you away either way. I _love_ you, Adam Crawford, and I will try to be better.”

And something changes again. Adam looks hopeful. He closes his laptop and he gets up. He moves closer, but slowly, as if he’s also wondering if they can still do it.

When they’re standing in front of each other, Adam says: “I love you too.”

Then, Adam smiles. It’s still a bit ungenuine, but Adam grabs Kurt’s face and he kisses him. Kurt wraps his arms around Adam to pull him closer and this is how it’s supposed to be. He tells himself that this is right.

He tries to believe it.

* * *

A week later, he sees Blaine for the first time since their almost kiss. The universe must clearly hate Kurt Hummel, since Adam is with him when they run into each other.

At least Wes is there to soften the blow.

Honestly, they could’ve seen it coming. All their friends use the same coffee shop. It’s kind of a miracle that they hadn’t run into each other beforehand. Kurt and Adam are sitting at the table near the entrance, so Blaine and Wes spot them immediately.

Blaine tries to act like he hasn’t seen them, but it’s impossible to look over Kurt and Adam, and everyone knows it.

“Hey guys!” Wes says cheerfully. He sounds too cheerful. Blaine looks at his feet.

“Hey!” Adam also sounds too cheerful.

God, this is a mess. Kurt can’t go out on a coffee date with his boyfriend. He’s tried very hard the past week to show Adam how much he loves him and Adam also looks radiant these days, but seeing Blaine again makes Kurt’s stomach flip, even when Blaine is trying to look everywhere but his direction. Kurt hates that he wants Blaine to look at him.

He’s in love.

_But you love Adam more_ , Kurt thinks.

“Hey Wes, did you like the article I sent you?” Adam asks Wes. Kurt looks at him in shock.

“Obviously, man,” Wes says and to Kurt’s horror, he grabs a chair to sit down, “It is so insane that the theatre district has this reputation of the inclusive dream and that leads to these kind of cases going unnoticed.”

“Mate, tell me about it!” Adam shakes his head in disapproval. Kurt is still looking at him.

He knew that Adam and Wes liked each other, but he didn’t know that they talked outside of the shared trips, parties, potlucks and events. Kurt looks at Blaine real quick and it looks like Blaine’s as baffled as Kurt.

“Uhm, Wes, I’m gonna get coffee.”

“Yeah, bring me a chai latte, Blainers.”

“Stop calling me that,” Blaine grumbles before walking away to the counter. Kurt watches his go. He doesn’t know if Adam’s paying attention to him, since Kurt’s fully focused on Blaine.

Blaine looks over his shoulder and he looks shocked and uncomfortable when he sees Kurt staring at him. He quickly looks away.

Kurt looks away as well and he tries to contribute to the conversation, but Adam and Wes are caught up in their own law entertainment world.

When Blaine hands Wes his coffee, he grabs a chair too. He has to. No one wants to acknowledge what is happening, so Blaine has to play along. He tries to sit next to Wes, but that would mean butting in between him and Adam, so Blaine reluctantly sits down next to Kurt.

“Hi Blaine,” Kurt says nervously. He sneaks a quick glare towards Adam, but he doesn’t seem bothered. He’s showing Wes something on his phone.

“Hey,” Blaine says under his breath. Then he takes out his phone and he continues to ignore Kurt. This time, Wes and Adam do look at him with questioning looks on their faces.

“You two got in a fight or something?” Adam asks and everyone looks at him as if he’s broken an unspoken rule. He probably has.

Wes probably knows what has happened, since he usually is more welcoming towards Kurt, but Adam is still completely in the dark.

“Alright dude, let’s give them time to talk,” Wes puts his hands on Adam’s shoulders and he leads them away. Both Kurt and Blaine look annoyed. Blaine’s probably annoyed because he does not want to talk to Kurt, and Kurt’s annoyed because now Adam will ask questions. He has no idea how much Wes knows and what he’ll say.

Blaine gives him a knowing look.

“No worries, Wes is great at keeping his mouth shut.”

“Ah.”

There’s an awkward silence. It’s worse than that one time at the theatre. Now, it seems never-ending. Blaine’s gone back to not looking at Kurt and Kurt doesn’t know what to say. He hasn’t seen or heard of Blaine in three weeks, which has never happened before.

Out of the corner of Kurt’s eyes, he can see Adam and Wes talking in rapid pace.

Blaine drinks his coffee in silence and he checks his phone.

Kurt’s honestly not in the mood for this, so he snaps: “Am I going to get the silent treatment for the rest of my life?”

Blaine finally looks away from his phone, but he doesn’t look happy.

“Well, I have nothing to say.”

“You’ve been in love with me since forever and it never bothered you that I didn’t love you back-” Blaine’s eyes go sad when he hears that “-so why does it bother you now? Remember how much it sucked when Jude ignored you? That is how it feels for me now.”

Blaine sets down his phone and he turns to Kurt. Blaine’s never looked so rigid and tense before.

“Sure, maybe it’s not fair to you to leave you hanging, but people, you included, also kept telling me to give Jude some fucking space, so I did.”

The swearword is another thing that’s new.

“And to answer your question, I was fine with this being a one-sided thing. I mean, it sucked for me, but before that kiss I didn’t feel like you were playing with my heart. And I’m mad, Kurt.”

The bite in his voice is also unfamiliar.

“Falling in love with you has meant heartbreak from the very beginning, _I know that_ , but the way you looked at me after we almost kissed- that look of shock and distrust and discomfort?” Blaine shakes his head, “Well, that is an image that has haunted me for the past three weeks. So mostly, I am sad and I need time. _And_ I still don’t know what you were thinking. I started to believe that maybe, if the stars would align, you’d like me back, but nope. So, I asked you to choose.”

“… And I chose Adam.”

Blaine’s eyes flicker towards Adam and Wes for a second. “Yeah.”

“But that doesn’t mean that we can’t be friends again.”

“Maybe. And sure, I want that, but it will never be the same again. You almost kissed me, knowing that I was in love with you, which made me admit it to you for the first time in a shitty way, and then you looked disgusted and ran back to your boyfriend. How can we continue from that, especially since I-”

Blaine shakes his head again.

Kurt tilts his head and he waits for Blaine to continue.

Blaine takes a deep breath and says: “Especially since I am still absolutely, madly in love with you and seeing you makes me wish for more, even now. I wished you would just love me, but I can’t make that happen, no matter how much I wish.”

And Kurt loves him. He doesn’t want it to be true, but he does love Blaine, and in order to at least be friends again, that has to be known. It wouldn’t be fair, but it also won’t be fair to tell him and to continue dating Adam.

Yet...

“Blaine, I need- I’m sorry,” Kurt says and he puts his hand on Blaine’s, which makes Blaine look up in shock. He pulls his hand back.

“See? Those kind of things? Don’t do that, because I hate that it made the butterflies in my stomach come alive.”

“Then at least look at me,” Kurt pleads.

Blaine does.

“Blaine, I’m so sorry to tell you this and I know this might only make things worse, but I need you to know this, so please do not interrupt me,” Kurt says, trying not to cry, “But I love you.”

Blaine sits back in his chair, frozen in shock.

“I almost kissed you because I wanted to, truly, and realising that made me freak out, hence the disgusted look, since I was disgusted at myself for falling in love with someone other than my _boyfriend_ , but I could never be disgusted of you. Please know that.”

Blaine blinks.

“ _But_ you told me to choose, and I chose Adam.”

That snaps Blaine out of his thoughts.

"What the fuck, Kurt,” he hisses.

“I'm sorry, but it also wouldn’t feel right to keep this from you. I don’t wanna do the classic 'it's not you, it's me' speech, but don’t think you're incapable of being loved.”

He tries to reassure Blaine, but that sentence only seems to make him more angry.

"Don’t use my words against me. I told you those things about Sebastian for a reason."

"I’m not trying to, but we can’t be friends without this being in the open."

"And now we can? This is worse, okay. Do you at least see why this is way worse?” Blaine says and he shakes his head, “Now you're practically saying 'I love you, but I still don't want you'. I can’t believe this. I often dreamed about you telling me you love me back, but this is not what I had in mind."

"Blaine-"

"Good thing we're in public, otherwise I would’ve run out sobbing, but I don’t wanna cause a scene, especially with your _boyfriend_ watching us."

"I'm sorry."

"Damn right you're sorry,” Blaine grumbles.

Blaine looks away and when Kurt follows his gaze, he sees that he’s looking at Adam. Adam and Wes aren’t paying attention, so Wes is probably distracting him with more law, and Kurt is grateful for it.

Kurt watches Adam too.

"Do you love him, then? Adam?” Blaine asks.

"I- of course."

"Just more than me," Blaine concludes.

"I'm sorry,” Kurt says. But does he really love Adam more? He tries to believe it, but watching Blaine now also makes Kurt’s heart flutter. Even when Blaine’s angry at him, he doesn’t want Blaine to leave. He can take the anger, but Blaine leaving? That would be devastating.

He loves Adam. He will always love Adam, but Kitty is probably right.

But what can Kurt do? He’s committed to Adam. They’re meant to be. Everyone always assumes that Kurt and Adam, or ‘Kadam’ as Rachel calls it, would get married and have a bunch of kids. That’s how strong they are. Or were. They’ve been together for years. They live together and they have plans for the future and Adam still believes in those plans. Kurt can’t just walk out!

"Look, you chose Adam and that is fine,” Blaine says, while still looking at Adam. His voice sounds different. He no longer sounds angry, but now he just sounds resigned. “It sucks for me, but if you choosing him means you're not gonna give me more mixed signals, then it is fine. And I appreciate your honesty, because I've been waiting for clarity for ages, but I think I need to let it all sink in."

"Did you know that I was in love with you?"

"... I thought it was the classic wishful thinking. Seeing things I want to see. But since it's real, yes."

"Sorry. Please believe me when I tell you I didn't know."

"I do, I really do. But you know, it feels kinda icky, like you've experimented with me to understand your feelings and now that you do, you still pick Adam. That's fine and I hope you two are happy and I still won't try to, like, break the two of you apart. Just, uhm, leave me alone."

So, Blaine knew too. Kitty was right once again. Kurt doesn’t know if Blaine knows that it’s apparently obvious to everyone else, and he’s not going to be the one to tell him. He’s messed with his head enough.

That’s why he also can’t tell him he’s falling out of love with Adam. He’s chosen Adam and Blaine seems to accept that.

"Are you still mad?” Kurt asks.

"Kinda. But now I'm more sad. I was always sad."

"Can we be friends again?"

" _Damnit_ , Kurt,” Blaine says, sounding tired.

"Sorry."

"But yes, I hope so, but now- I can’t yet."

“When will everything be okay again?” Kurt genuinely wants to know.

“Well, once we stop being in love with each other,” Blaine answers, “So, never.”

“You don’t know that,” Kurt says, but he knows it’s no use.

Blaine grabs his coffee cup and he laughs humourlessly. “Ah, my coffee’s gone cold, even though it’s in a special takeaway cup. That’s how long we’ve been talking. I guess that is my cue to go.”

“You don’t have to!”

“Well, I do,” Blaine says and he gets up. Kurt gets up and he tries to pull Blaine back to his seat, but Blaine gives him a stern look. “I told you, I need to process all this new information, but I’m no longer mad at you. I’m just a bit confused. So I’m going to get a new cup of coffee and I’ll be on my way. If Wes wants to stick around, he can, but I’m going home. Let me go.”

Kurt sits down.

“Thanks,” Blaine says. He slings his bag over his shoulder and he walks back to the counter.

Adam and Wes notice the movement, so they watch Blaine with a curious look on their faces. Wes looks to Kurt and he raises his eyebrow. Kurt shrugs. Wes says something to Adam before moving to Blaine. He touches Blaine’s shoulder and he has a questioning look on his face. Blaine says something back and he gives Wes a quick hug. Then Wes steps back.

Blaine walks out of the coffee shop without looking at Kurt, which is difficult, since Kurt’s still sitting at the entrance.

Adam and Wes sit down again.

“You know, I don’t even want to know,” Adam says.

“Great choice, my friend,” Wes sighs.

* * *

Adam doesn’t mention what happened in the coffee shop, which is rare, even for him. Kurt waits for a reaction, but nothing happens. Another week passes like that. Kurt tries to continue to show Adam how much he loves him, but it’s changed again.

Even though Kurt understands that Blaine needs to be left alone, he wonders how much longer he can keep this up. He can’t deny it: he’s falling out of love with Adam. He never meant for it to happen, but life has taken an unexpected turn. After this, he’s going to be prepared for every unexpected turn in his life, because he’s genuinely thinking about breaking up with Adam. It’s not even for Blaine, but because Kurt also feels like he can’t do this to Adam.

There’s no great way to say it. There’s no great _moment_ to say it.

It happens when both of them didn’t expect it to happen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have the terrible habit of turning my fics into memes, so if you want to know how my process is going through stale memeage, follow [forabeatonadrum’s “lb writing” tag](https://forabeatofadrum.tumblr.com/tagged/lb-writing)! 


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oops? After I passed the 4K word count of this chapter, I knew I had to add a sixth one. 
> 
> But I’m certain I won’t be adding a seventh one, since I actually finished the ending of the story before I finished chapter 5. Yeah, I wrote chapter 5 and 6 at the same time, since I write out of order, and chapter 6 is almost ready.
> 
> So, have the prenultimate chapter of verna!
> 
> It’s time for a shitty break-up.

**ADAM**

“I think we should break up.”

Adam drops his fork. The sound of it hitting the plate is extremely loud. He looks up to see Kurt, who’s tearing up.

“Really, Kurt. Right in front of my salad?” Adam says sharply. He looks around. No one in the restaurant is paying attention to them. “You’re breaking up with me _on our anniversary dinner_?”

Adam pushes his plate away and he asks the waiter for the check.

He is livid. He can’t even look at Kurt.

Kurt remains silent through the entire ordeal. Adam pays for the meal and before Kurt can say anything, he grabs his coat and he walks out the restaurant.

"Adam, wait!"

Adam keeps walking to the nearest subway station. He goes home with Kurt trailing behind him. They don’t sit next to each other on the train. They don’t walk back to their apartment hand in hand. They ignore each other through the entire trip.

Adam's head feels heavy and empty.

Once they're inside, the tension is palatable. Adam is the first one to speak.

"You're breaking up with me during _our anniversary dinner_?" he says, incredulously.

Kurt at least has the decency to look devastated. He's on the brink of tears. Adam can’t see his own reflection but he is pretty sure his face matches Kurt.

" _You're breaking up with me during our anniversary dinner_!" Adam says again, louder this time.

"I'm so sorry," Kurt sobs out.

"You're fucking sorry? What the hell did Blaine say to you a week ago?" Adam yells. He's never hated Blaine, despite everything, but that is over now.

Kurt shakes his head. "This isn’t about Blaine-"

"Of course this is about Blaine! Kurt, from all the moments, you pick our anniversary dinner? How fucking cold are you?"

“Adam, _please_ …”

Adam’s crying. He’s crying from shock and sadness, but also from anger. How dare Kurt break up with him like this? What the _fuck_ did Blaine do to him?

“Did you- did you cheat on me?” Adam yells out. His voice shakes. Is that why he couldn’t kiss Adam goodnight a while ago? “Kurt, _did you fucking cheat on me_?”

God, he hates Blaine. For the first time in two years, Adam feels like he truly hates Blaine. That damn Blaine must’ve done something that made Kurt cheat on Adam.

“ _NO_!” Kurt yells back, “I’d never. I know we always joke about my glee club being super incestuous, but Adam, please believe me!”

The look on Kurt’s face shakes Adam to the core. He wants to believe him, truly, but he has no reason to.

“You didn’t? But something must have happened! Something’s happened between the two of you.”

“Adam-”

“ _Tell me_!” Adam roars out. In his anger, he grabs a coffee mug from the table and he smashes it on the ground, which makes Kurt jump in shock.

Adam looks at the cup as if it’s an alien object. Adam, _throwing_ things? He’s been angry and fed up before, but he’s never destroyed stuff before. His hand is shaking and Adam looks at it as if he’s never seen it before. 

“Adam, please look at me,” he hears Kurt plead, so Adam does. Kurt is crying. “I’d never cheat on you, but that’s why I have to break up with you. Because- Because I almost did. I almost kissed him, because I wanted to!”

Adam looks at Kurt, who’s crying hard while admitting that he’s almost cheated. He ‘almost’ is indeed a relief, but they can’t deny it anymore: Kurt’s in love with Blaine.

Adam hates Blaine.

“I’m not breaking up with you because of Blaine, but because I can’t keep doing this to you.”

“Bullshit, you don’t get to decide what I want,” Adam says harshly, “And I want _you_. I love _you._ ”

“But- But I don’t want you,” Kurt says and he cries harder.

Adam has to sit down. Kurt… he no longer wants him. He falls down on their couch.

“I am so sorry, but I fell out of love with you. I never wanted it to happen, but the heart wants what it wants. We’re probably better off as friends.”

Kurt tries to move closer to the couch, but Adam shakes his head.

“S-Stay away from me.”

Kurt looks absolutely heartbroken, but he has no right to be, since he’s the one who just broke Adam’s heart into million pieces.

“Adam, please, I never meant for any of this to happen,” Kurt cries out, “Believe me. I love you, but I love Blaine more and during the dinner, I realised that I can’t do this.”

“Our _anniversary_ dinner, Kurt,” Adam points out again, “ _Our fucking anniversary dinner_.”

Kurt nods and he looks deeply ashamed. “I know, _I know_ , it’s a huge dick move, but we were supposed to be celebrating, but I couldn’t. I couldn’t even pretend to be happy. I’ve tried so hard since the almost kiss. I’ve tried to convince myself that I can choose you over him, but during the dinner I realised I can’t. So, I’m breaking up with you-”

“ _For Blaine_!” Adam yells out, “For that fucking new guy.”

“No, for _you_. Like I said, I can’t do this to _you_ ,” Kurt says and he gestures towards Adam, “Adam, look at yourself. I did this to you! How could I do this to you? I’m doing this for you!”

Adam snaps: "No, you know what, Kurt? You're a fucking coward! You’ve been in love with Blaine for ages. _Get over it_!”"

Kurt lets out a loud gasp.

"You _knew_?" he asks. His eyes are red and puffy. Kurt looks baffled.

Adam laughs bitterly. He stands up again and he yells: “Damn right I fucking knew. But I am not a pathetic piece of shit who won’t even fucking fight for his relationship.”

For the first time since coming home, Kurt looks like someone’s hit him in the face. There are no fresh round of tears. He just looks shocked.

“What- No- I-”

“Yes you are!” Adam yells in Kurt’s face, “That is what you are, Kurt, a coward!”

Kurt takes a step back. Adam tries to calm himself down, but he can’t. He’s so angry. Why can’t Kurt keep on trying?

And Kurt’s face changes. Now, he looks angry as well.

“Well, if I’m a fucking coward for doing something I want, then you’re an even bigger fucking coward for denying what is right in front of you!”

“I didn’t _deny_ anything! I tried to fix us! That’s something you clearly don’t wanna do or try!”

“Did you not listen to me? I’ve tried, Adam, I’ve fucking tried!” Kurt yells back in an angry voice, “For two years I _have_ denied it and when I realised I _tried_ to fix it. _But I fucking can’t_. There’s nothing to be fixed.”

“There’s _always_ something to be fixed!” Adam roars out, “You’re just too pathetic to try.”

Kurt takes another step back. He looks disgusted and he shakes his head. “You know what, Adam? Screw you. If this is how you act when I try to do something for myself, _then I don’t want to be with you at all_. Blaine be damned! _You_ are the reason I can’t do this.”

“Don’t put the blame on me!” Adam says angrily, “You’re the one giving up on us! Fuck you, Kurt. _Fuck you_!”

“If you truly loved me, you’d let me go.”

Adam wants to yell out a retort, but his mind catches up in time. Adam does truly love Kurt. He really does, that’s why he can’t let Kurt do this.

But Kurt’s words have struck a chord.

Kurt takes in Adam’s silence.

“Alright then. Fuck you too, Adam. _To fucking hell with you_! I’m _out_!”

And without another word, Kurt turns on his heels and he walks away.

“Kurt, _wait_!”

“Fuck you, Adam!” Kurt yells, “ _I don’t ever wanna see you again_!”

Kurt slams the door and Adam is all alone. Within only a few minutes, everything’s changed.

* * *

Once it is clear that Kurt is really gone, it all sinks in.

They've broken up.

Adam is sitting in the living room, all alone. The shards of the broken mug are lying next to him. Adam’s heart breaks all over again when he sees what he’s thrown to the ground. He didn’t realise when looking at it earlier, since it was all foggy in his head.

It was the mug that Kurt gave him on their first anniversary. It was a mug with a photo of the two of them in the form of a heart. Now, there is a literal break between the side with his face and the side with Kurt's face.

Adam laughs humourlessly when he sees it.

But his laughter turns into tears and Adam grabs a pillow from the couch to bury his face in, and the he _cries_.

He knew that this was inevitable. Still, he wishes that Kurt hadn't done it on their anniversary of all dates, but the break up was inevitable. Adam didn't try to delay it. He tried to stop it from happening all together, but as Kurt said, the heart wants what it wants.

There is no denying that Kurt wasn't fair on him, but now that he is all alone with his thoughts, Adam wonders if he was always fair to Kurt.

He knew that Kurt was in love with Blaine. He sat beside him while it was happening. Adam watched and he did nothing.

Because doing something meant letting Kurt go.

Adam didn’t want to let go, even though it’s pretty clear that Kurt and Blaine were meant to be. Kurt claimed that he was breaking up for Adam’s sake, and maybe in some way, Kurt was right.

A new feeling replaces the overwhelming sadness: guilt.

Adam tries not to feel like he's the bad guy. After all, Kurt just dumped him in the worst way possible. At this point, Adam preferred a break up through text. But oh God, Adam yelled some awful things to him. Adam called him a selfish coward. Adam said that he was a pathetic piece of shit who didn’t even want to fight for Adam.

And in return, Kurt said things that he probably regrets as well.

He is tired. It is only nine pm, but he is tired. All these emotions have exhausted him to the core. He gets up and walks straight to the bedroom. Luckily, he is wearing shoes, so he has no problem walking on the ceramic shards.

Fully clothed, he falls face down on the bed and he cries more. He wants Kurt to come back. He needs Kurt to come back. He _needs_ Kurt. He _loves_ him.

_If you truly loved me, you’d let me go._

Adam cries harder. That sentence is lingering in his mind. Kurt was right, though. Adam’s so in love with Kurt, but the moment it became clear that it was ending, he started seeing Kurt as something that belonged to him.

Adam’s always said that he’s ‘not that guy’, or whatever that means, _but he is_. He’s become what he’s always feared becoming.

He cries until he eventually falls asleep.

* * *

When Adam wakes up, he feels terrible. His clothes and hair are ruffled. He has an awful breath since he didn’t brush his teeth. He catches his reflection in the window and he sees that his eyes are swollen.

But he can live with all of that. The most terrible feeling is the realisation that Kurt is totally alone. The other side of the bed was cold and empty throughout the night.

Adam looks around and he tries not to cry when he sees all of Kurt's stuff. He left yesterday without taking anything, so a book is still on his nightstand, with the bookmark poking out. A half-full glass of water is on the dresser. His clothes are draped on the chair.

This life that Kurt has built with Adam, in this apartment, has abruptly ended and seeing all of these things makes it clear.

He walks throughout their – no, his – apartment and he tries not to cry at the sight of the mundane things. The shards are still on the floor and in Adam’s fervour, he’s stepped on them. As a result, his face is broken. He picks up the big shards, including the one with Kurt’s face, and he feels bad to put it in the trash. It feels like putting the actual Kurt in the trash, which is ridiculous, but Adam’s emotions are all over the place.

He doesn’t eat breakfast. He needs to get out of the house. All the reminders of Kurt are suffocating him. He runs back to the bedroom to grab his phone to text Tessa and Joey, two friends from college. But then Adam sees that he’s gotten a text from Wes about an article from Business Insider, and his stomach drops.

So many parts of his life are tied to Kurt’s group of friends, since they have all become his friends too. He’s spent more time with them than with his friends from college, which is why only two remain. Adam shakes his head and he deletes the entire conversation between him and Wes.

He sends Joey and Tessa a message in their groupchat. Ten minutes later, Adam’s changed clothes and he is out of the door.

* * *

The distraction offered by Joey and Tessa is only temporary. Once he’s back in the apartment, he sits in the living room and he cries again. God, he loves Kurt. He _loves_ Kurt so much, and Kurt just left him like that.

Adam hopes that he’ll come back. After all, he has to come back to pick up his stuff. Maybe Adam can talk to him. Maybe they can still try to make it work. Kurt’s been in love with Blaine for a long time, yet they were still together.

Adam now knows that those are lies that he is telling himself to stop him from crying even harder, but lies are nice to believe in.

He forces himself to get off the couch, but the sadness seems to push him back. He keeps imagining that Kurt comes back home and then they’ll talk it out and all will be fine.

This feels like a big joke. Adam laughs humourlessly. The sounds echoes, since the apartment is empty, and Adam feels another fresh round of tears coming. Who is he kidding? Kurt is not coming back apart from that one time to pick up his stuff.

Adam once again takes in how empty the apartment is without Kurt’s presence. This is it. This is how it ends.

* * *

Two days later, Kitty shows up on his doorstep to collect Kurt’s stuff.

* * *

**BLAINE**

New York is lonely without Kurt.

Contrary to one might think, Blaine’s actually met a lot of people and he hangs out with people other than Kurt and his group of friends, but he and Wes were so happily welcomed and immersed in that group of friends, so it’s lonely without them. Their friends from Dalton visited a couple of times in the past few weeks, but it was weird to not introduce them to Kurt and the others.

Blaine has no idea how much the others know, but they all seem to keep their distance from Blaine. In a way, it sucks, but he also appreciates it. They all understand that he needs to be left alone by Kurt, so in extent also by his friends. Apart from the occasional mundane text messages, he barely talks to them.

Even now, Blaine has to fight the urge to text or call Kurt.

Wes has also noticed the change in atmosphere, but despite that, he and Adam kept texting each other. One day, over a week since the argument in the coffee shop, that also comes to an abrupt end.

“He hasn’t replied to anything in three days,” Wes says, “Not even on the article about the importance of the #MeToo discussion in Broadway.”

“Maybe something’s happened,” Blaine wonders.

Wes pouts.

“Maybe.”

* * *

The day after, Blaine’s heart jumps a beat when he sees that Kurt’s texted him, but once the initial reaction wears off, Blaine feels confused. Kurt’s kept his distance per request, so why is he reaching out now.?

Blaine’s finger hovers over the notification, but then he swipes down to extend the notification to read what Kurt’s written. It’s a big message, so Blaine has to click on it in order to read all of it. When he sees what’s in the message, Blaine sinks down to the ground.

_> Hi Blaine, it’s me. I just want you to know that Adam and I have broken up. I know it won’t take long before the news reaches you, but I want you to hear it from me. I know you said that you needed space to think everything through, so you don’t have to reply if you don’t want to, but this is of course a big thing. I don’t know what will happen next for me and between us, but I want to make it clear that you didn’t break us apart. Adam and I have grown apart in the past two years, and sure, it is because of your arrival in the city, but the decision to end it was mostly because I realised that Adam and I weren’t working out. I didn’t break up with Adam for you and I am also not ready to immediately date again. I won’t reach out to you, since I know you don’t want me to do that, but if you want to talk to me again, even as just a friend, then you’ll be able to temporarily find me at Kitty and Roderick’s place. Bye._

Blaine is kneeling on the ground, holding the phone as if it has all the answers of the universe, and he has to read the message three more times for it to fully sink in.

Kurt is in love with him, but he chose Adam. Now, he has reversed that choice.

What does this all _mean_?

The door to Wes’s bedroom opens and when Wes sees Blaine kneeling on the ground, he has an amused look on his face. “Don’t tell me you’re praying.”

“Kurt and Adam broke up.”

Wes’s eyes widen. “Oh, shit.”

Blaine holds out his phone. Wes takes it so that he can read the entire message. When he looks back to Blaine, he also seems loss for words.

“Wes, what the hell do I do with this?”

Wes shakes his head. “Tea first. Yup, I’m going to put on the kettle. We are going to need a strong cup of tea for this.”

“I prefer coffee.”

“Tea it is,” Wes says and he practically runs towards the kitchen. Blaine gets back up and he follows Wes. He puts his phone on the kitchen counter and he watches Wes rummage through the cupboards for some tea leaves.

“I still love him,” Blaine tells Wes.

“Obviously,” Wes says while he puts the leaves in the infuser in their tea pot, “I’d be very surprised if you weren’t. But Kurt said so himself, he’s probably not going to immediately date you. That, and you need to decide if you still want that.”

“Of course, I want that!” Blaine exclaims, “I’ve wanted that since the moment I laid eyes on him.”

Wes lets out a deep sigh.

“What?” Blaine crosses his arms and he leans against their kitchen counters, “You can tell me. You’ve always been direct.”

“It’s just- he’s really hurt you,” Wes says, “Grab two mugs for me, will you?”

Blaine grabs his favourite Superhero mug for him and one with a gavel for Wes.

Meanwhile, Wes continues: “I know it’s not like Sebastian or anything. In fact, I think Kurt’s done nothing terribly wrong. He didn’t cheat on you or anything. You guys never dated and you didn’t owe each other shit. All the stuff that’s happened is just an cumulation of unfortunate and confusing events, but still it sucked for you and I know you’re too forgiving. You were really angry and sad, and you had the right to be. He should be begging for your forgiveness, in my honest opinion.”

“Well, he didn’t intent to hurt me,” Blaine says and Wes gives me a look.

“What did I just say? God, Blaine, don’t make me say it.”

“Say what?”

“Like you mentioned before, neither did Sebastian,” Wes says, “And yet, I won’t be surprised if you ever forgive him for all the shit that he’s done to you, because that’s who you are. You let people shit on you and walk over you all the damn time, and you internalise that pain, and then you forgive them too easily for it.”

“Well, good thing we’ll probably never see him again.”

“And you’re not denying it.”

“I don’t know,” Blaine says and he accepts the mug of tea, “But you’re right. I can’t rule it out. But this is still different from Sebastian.”

“Obviously, but what I’m trying to say is that I don’t want Kurt to walk over you and your feelings, even when it’s unintentional,” Wes says, “Because I am so proud of you for what you said at the engagement party and at the coffee shop. You really surprised me there, which is on me, I should’ve given you more credit. But keep it up.”

“But what if I’ve already forgiven him.”

Wes’s mug stalls at his lips and he looks over to Blaine. His glasses have fogged up due to the hot tea, but even through the steam, Blaine knows that Wes is giving him a slightly judgemental stare.

Blaine nods to confirm it.

“Yeah, I’m not angry anymore.”

“Okay. I can’t tell you how to feel. If that is how you feel, then that’s how you feel.”

Still, the judgement is there. Blaine’s not angry at Wes for that, since he understands that it comes from a place of worry, and he also knows why Blaine has given Wes reasons to think so. His therapist said it too: Blaine’s too kind. It’s a good thing, but it happens to backfire a lot.

But this is different. Blaine was very angry and sad, but this time he had time to sift through those emotions and to process them. He didn’t get that chance with Sebastian since the move to Columbus and the busy student life got in the way and they made it all worse. And even though Wes is right about Blaine letting things happen to him too easily, he also wants to move on from things. And sometimes, the best way to move on is to forgive. People might not agree on it, but it works for Blaine.

He’s spent this past month thinking about everything that happened and Blaine’s tried to put himself in Kurt’s position. It truly sucked that Kurt chose Adam, but Blaine knows what it’s like to have your life uprooted and how it can end badly. He has years of therapy to show for it. So he somehow understands why Kurt decided to prioritise comfort and familiarity over his feelings for Blaine.

It still sucked, though.

Blaine tells Wes all of that and Wes looks like he’s starting to understand it too.

“I hadn’t thought of that,” Wes admits.

“I know,” Blaine says back. Even though Wes was there during the darkest years, he’s never lived them. “And who knows? Maybe this will not mess Kurt up as much as he anticipated. Not all change is bad and I had to learn that too. I mean, we’re in New York!”

“A big change!” Wes agrees, “I have a full-time job!”

“Exactly! But we’re doing exceptionally well. And maybe Kurt will bounce back quickly, but I can’t blame him for being too afraid to risk it.”

“But he’s risked it. They’ve broken up. The text makes it very clear that he is the one who ended it,” Wes points out.

Blaine hums in agreement.

“So, what now?”

“Dude, I asked you that exact same question,” Blaine deadpans and it makes Wes snort in his tea.

“Hmmm, yeah, I think it’s best to wait. He’s probably a mess.”

“Yeah,” Blaine says, but he has an idea. He takes his phone from the kitchen counter.

_> Thank you for telling me. I hope you’re well._

* * *

Kurt texts back, but things don’t go back to the way they were. Too much has happened. Even though Blaine’s forgiven Kurt, he was genuinely angry and that doesn’t happen often. They need to talk about that when they see each other face to face again. They text, but they never discuss the break-up.

But Blaine doesn't want to talk about it.

According to Kitty’s occasional texts, Kurt is holding up, so Blaine at least knows that.

When they first see each other again, it’s unexpected and kind of ironic. They meet in front of the theatre that plays The Mink Coat.

Rachel has already left the show to continue working on Jane Austen Sings, so her name is no longer on the marquee, but apart from that, Blaine has a strange feeling of déjà vu when he spots Kurt standing in front of the theatre.

Blaine slowly approaches him. Kurt doesn’t see him coming, since he’s checking something on his phone, but when Blaine calls out his name, Kurt’s head jerks towards Blaine.

“Blaine?”

Blaine smiles carefully.

“Are you going to see Mink Coat?”

Kurt looks up, and he only now realises that he’s standing in front of this theatre. “Oh. No, I’d never betray Rachel like that.”

“Ah, yeah, I read about Jane Austen Sings getting a Broadway adaption on Broadway.com and I sent her a text about it,” Blaine says casually, “I also read some rumours about a Broadway adaption of The Street?”

Blaine is looking at Kurt expectantly. He’s just trying to break the ice. It’s not overly awkward, but it’s tense.

“Still rumours, unfortunately,” Kurt says, “But my contract is wrapping up.”

“Oh, really?” Blaine didn’t know that. Kurt’s poured his heart and soul in The Street, but it makes sense. “What’s next for you?”

“My agent arranged an audition for another Off-Broadway show, so, that.”

“Ah.”

Kurt still looks uneasy and he says: “Blaine, what are we doing?”

Blaine plays dumb. “What? We’re two friends catching up.”

“We both know it’s not so simple. We can’t go back to the way it used to be.”

“Sure, but we’re still friends. And, like, see this as a new start. A fresh start,” Blaine says, “After all, I still want to be friends.”

“… I just broke up with Adam.”

“I know.”

“I hurt you,” Kurt points out.

“Yeah, you did.”

“You should be angry at me.”

Blaine shrugs. “I’d rather move on.”

“I should be begging for forgiveness.”

“You sound like Wes.”

“Well, Wes has the right idea.”

Blaine tilts his head in confusion. “Do you want me to be angry at you?”

“Of course not!” Kurt shakes his head, “But maybe you should.”

“No,” Blaine says with a tone that makes clear that his decision is final.

“No?”

“No,” Blaine says again, and before Kurt has to chance to argue, he continues: “No, I will not. Sure, I was angry, but I’ve had time to sort it out and I’m no longer angry. I don’t want to be. And you and Wes can disagree and you two can think that I am just a naïve guy who lets himself be used too easily, _and sure_ , it’s partially true, but I know how I feel and how I _want_ to feel. And I don’t want to carry this anger around if it’s no longer needed. I was angry. I took my time. Now, I’m fine. So, how are you?”

“But what if I’m not done with it yet?” Kurt asks, “I still have the guilt, and you saying ‘it’s fine’ is not gonna make it disappear.”

“Why do you wanna talk about this?” Blaine asks, “Why can’t you just let things be?”

“My break-up with Adam and all the crap that followed is the result of what happens if you just ‘let things be’, Blaine. Even when you’re no longer angry, we need to talk about what happened. We need to talk about us. I don’t like this any more than you do, but how can we be friends, or more, with this hanging over us all the time?”

Kurt’s right. Blaine knows that Kurt’s right. Even though he’s genuinely no longer angry, Blaine cannot deny that this is far from over.

He wishes he could run away from it all. After all, that’s what he always does.

“I don’t want to,” Blaine admits. He can already hear his therapist voice’s in his head saying ‘ _Step one: admit the problem’_.

He knows that this has to be done.

“Let’s have lunch,” Kurt suddenly says, which takes Blaine by surprise.

“What?”

“Let’s have lunch. Let’s have some fun. We can’t have this conversation in the middle of Broadway with New Yorkers scoffing at us for standing in the middle of the sidewalk,” Kurt points out, “Let’s go somewhere for lunch, loosen up, and then we can go and talk somewhere else.”

“… Alright,” Blaine says. That actually sounds like a great idea. “Lead the way.”

* * *

When Blaine opens the front door of his apartment, he and Kurt are in the middle of a conversation about upcoming Broadway shows. Lunch was fun, as planned, and it helped dissolve the earlier tension, but now they’ve come to Blaine’s place to talk.

Wes is at work.

Or at least, that was what they thought.

Wes is standing in the kitchen with a cup of tea and when Kurt and Wes see each other, the laughter and the conversation die out. Wes is great at holding grudges, so this will not be an exception.

“Wes, I thought you were at work.”

“Yeah,” Wes says, eyes still on Kurt, who seems to squirm under Wes’s stern stare.

Blaine lookes over his shoulder at Kurt and he gives him a reassuring smile. Then, he turns back to Wes to tell him that they’re going to talk.

“Right,” Wes says shortly.

Blaine knows that Wes has something to say as well, and he realises he can give Wes that. Wes has never gotten closure on the Sebastian thing and he never will, but all of this is so much different from that situation.

“Anyway, I need to, uh, go to my room real quick,” Blaine says, “I need to change my socks?”

Both Wes and Kurt look at him as if he’s lost his mind, and it’s the worst improv ever, but Blaine practically runs to his room, so that Wes and Kurt can talk. In his room, Blaine decides to at least act like he was serious, so he changes his socks. He then puts on music, so that he can’t eavesdrop.

After a surprisingly small amount of time, the door opens. Wes doesn’t seem angry. In fact, he looks very happy.

Blaine takes out an earbud. “Done?”

“He’s gotten my stamp of approval, Blaine.”

Blaine lets out a long whistle. “That’s big! That’s a first.”

“Hopefully the last,” Wes says, and Blaine must’ve looked really confused, since Wes adds: “He’s a keeper, Blaine. You two aren’t there yet, but when the time is right, fight for him.”

“I- wow,” Blaine is speechless. Wes is extremely picky and stubborn, but now he’s telling Blaine to go for it. Blaine never needed Wes’s approval on anything, but having it still feels special.

He follows Wes back to their living room. Once there, Wes announces that he’s also going to change his socks in his room, which causes the others to laugh.

“The water is still hot,” Wes says before leaving, “Tea! Drink tea!”

Then, he slams the door of his room shut. Kurt and Blaine are left alone. The relaxed atmosphere from lunch still lingers, but it’s changing. It’s time to talk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> While writing chapter 5 and 6, I reread Little Numbers. I assume I do not have to explain Little Numbers, since everyone’s read it, but it was the first fanfic I’ve ever read and it’s my favourite.
> 
> Why am I giving a Little Numbers shout-out?
> 
> Because rereading it made me realise how much Little Numbers has impacted my writing: from my characterisations, my dialogue and my idea of a story. And even though I clearly did not mean to copy Little Numbers (it’s not like I could do it justice or anything), it still felt strangely familiar and rereading it felt like coming home. In a sense, all my writing has become an homage to Little Numbers, especially the way I always characterise Wes, and I feel like this chapter has made it more clear than ever, so a shout-out felt appropriate.
> 
> Anyway, I know that the Kadam break-up was an inevitable part, and even though it was short and messy, Adam’s a good guy. He’s just a bit misguided sometimes, just like Ethan.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It is kind of typical that this story ends with a chapter that’s fully Kurt POV. After all, the Myosotis series seems to favour his point of view. While writing this chapter, I also listened a lot to Troye Sivan’s song “Easy”, which fits the story. Or at least, I think it does.
> 
> Also, slight spoilers for Hadestown, or the general story of the Orpheus and Eurydice myth. Then again, it’s a well-known myth and I knew the ending before I ever watched Hadestown.
> 
> Thank you for reading.

**KURT**

Once they’ve settled down in Blaine and Wes’s living room with a hot cup of tea, it’s time to talk.

“I’m sorry,” Kurt says as a start.

“You don’t have to keep repeating that,” Blaine says, “I know you’re sorry.”

“Then let me at least make it up to you,” Kurt says back, “I know what you meant outside the theatre. I believe you when you say that you’re no longer mad and that you want to move on. I don’t want to invalidate _your_ feelings about this topic, but I also have to express mine. Mine are feelings of guilt.”

“You didn’t do anything wrong.”

“I beg to differ,” Kurt argues back, “You were angry at me for a reason. I played with your heart. I was indeed experimenting.”

Blaine looks uncomfortable. “Why can’t you just accept my forgiveness? You’re sorry, I forgive you.”

“Because having your forgiveness doesn’t sit well with me,” Kurt says, “Not yet. Even though I understand your standpoint, I still feel like you’re too forgiving. It’s good that you were angry, really, but do you really think we can go back to the way things were?”

“Well, no, but-”

“See!” Kurt cuts him off, before Blaine can protest again. He uses his free hand to point towards the air. “We can’t go back to being friends with this hanging over us.”

“Or more,” Blaine says under his breath and then he quickly drinks some tea, but Kurt’s heard him.

Yes, exactly. How are they able to ever date if they will not communicate? Kurt will not allow Blaine to be treated that way when they’re dating. They should be on the same level.

Kurt can understand not wanting to talk. This understanding of communication is new for him too. He’s never had to do this with Adam.

Thinking about Adam still stings, though.

“I just don’t want the both of us to bottle up our feelings. I don’t want one of us to shout unreasonable things in a surge of anger.”

“Did someone do that recently?” Blaine asks.

See, Kurt hasn’t even fully told him everything about the break-up yet, because they’ve been ignoring it.

“Adam called me a coward for breaking up with him,” Kurt says and he can feel himself tear up. The break-up was short, but emotionally heavy. “He said that I was a coward who didn’t want to fight for our relationship.”

Blaine puts his tea on the coffee table and he tries to hug Kurt, but he stops and looks hesitant. But when the tears start to flow on Kurt’s face, Blaine moves closer anyway and he hugs Kurt tightly. It’s still kind of unexpected, so Kurt has to make sure he’s not going to spill his tea on Blaine, but after the initial shock wears off, Kurt uses his free arm to hug him back.

“You’re not a coward,” Blaine says and he rubs Kurt’s back.

“You think so?” Kurt cries. He’s been thinking about it ever since it happened, but Kurt really did try to save his relationship with Adam. Kurt is certain that Adam regrets his words, but that doesn’t mean that they didn’t sting.

“You’re not,” Blaine says again, “Trust me, I know enough about cowardice and you don’t have any of it.”

“And I tried. You know I tried.”

“Shhh, I know, _I know_. You chose him,” Blaine says.

“Sorry for that,” Kurt sniffs, “Especially since I knew I loved you more. I lied during our conversation in the coffee shop.”

Blaine tenses for a small second, but then he continues hugging Kurt.

“Can I explain to you why I lied?”

Blaine pulls back from the hug, but he still has his hand on Kurt’s shoulder. He nods. “Please.”

“Denial, mostly, but I also was too afraid to let go of what I knew,” Kurt explains, “I chose Adam, even though I knew I loved you more, because I didn’t want to leave the life that I’d been living for the past four years. I tried to convince myself that if I just tried harder, then all would be fine, which is why Adam’s accusations suck.”

“See, you’re not a coward,” Blaine says fondly, “I know what it’s like to uproot your life, so I figured that it was something like that. So I know how hard it is and I can say with certainty that you’re not a coward. In fact, you’re courageous.”

Kurt shakes his head. God, why is Blaine being so helpful and kind? The whole point of this conversation is to make sure that Blaine is allowed to be unkind towards the people who’ve hurt him, but here they are, and Blaine is comforting him!

“What’s wrong?” Blaine says when he sees Kurt shaking his head.

Kurt tells him what’s wrong and Blaine laughs.

“You’re so determined to have me hate you, it’s kind of silly in my opinion.”

“Well, you’re so determined to not hate me, and that is kind of silly in my opinion.”

“Ah, you really sound like Wes,” Blaine sighs, “Maybe that’s why he’s given you his stamp of approval.”

“It is, actually,” Kurt says. Back in the kitchen, while Blaine was ‘changing his socks’, Wes was probably ready to give Kurt a long lecture, but Kurt cut to the point before Wes had a chance to start. Kurt immediately made clear that he feels guilty and that he’s here to make sure that Blaine understands that he cannot be walked over by him any longer.

Wes had looked at him with something that’s quite rare for Wesley Montgomery: utter respect.

Then, Wes gave him a shovel talk and then he got Blaine.

Kurt and Wes seem to understand each other: they love and protect Blaine. Blaine doesn’t always need protecting, but in the same vein, he also doesn’t notice when he does need it. They’re not here to baby him. They’re not going to stop Blaine from making his decisions on his own, but they will look out for him.

Kurt tells Blaine that.

“Again, I don’t want to invalidate your feelings on the matter,” Kurt continues, “But I know you. We’re best friends, despite it all. This might be okay for now, but what happens the next time?”

“Well, I don’t plan on there being a ‘next time’,” Blaine points out.

“Neither am I, but if I’m not the one misusing your kindness, then someone else might do it.”

“Wait,” Blaine frowns, “I thought this conversation was about _us_? Why are you making it such a big thing?”

Kurt rests his hand on his face. “Oh God, yeah, sorry, my thoughts are all over the place. Yes, it is about _us_ , but do you understand why I am not jumping up and down with excitement to accept your forgiveness?”

“So this is looking after me?” Blaine asks.

“I mean, are you looking after yourself?”

Blaine looks stricken. “I mean, I’m- I’m trying.”

“Blaine, are you really no longer mad at me?” Kurt asks. 

“Uh, yeah,” Blaine says.

“So, when I told you that I lied to you, you were totally okay with that?”

After all, Blaine tensed up.

Blaine looks a bit confused and conflicted. “I- Yes, I think so.”

“Really?”

“W-Why are you so determined to make me hate you?” Blaine asks again. He moves to grab his tea from the coffee table and Kurt sees that his hands are trembling slightly.

Kurt stops him by putting his hand on Blaine’s. Blaine looks at their joined hands.

“I’m not determined to make you hate me,” Kurt says.

Blaine’s still looking at their hands, but he sighs.

“Okay, that sucked,” he relents, “Yeah, that really sucked. I understand your explanation, but why didn’t you just break up with Adam? I want- Why did you do this to both of us? I know you fought for Adam, but why didn’t you realise immediately that it wasn’t fair to both us?”

“Just like you: I’m trying,” Kurt answers.

“What?” Blaine looks at Kurt with confusion.

“I tried to do what’s best for everyone, but everyone got hurt in the process.”

Although, looking back on it all, Adam could’ve let him go too. Kurt wonders if he’ll ever see Adam again.

“Bottom line: it was just a messy situation,” Kurt says.

Blaine turns his hand around, so that he can hold Kurt’s. Kurt’s eyes widen. They haven’t even reached that part of the conversation yet.

“Uhm,” Kurt says and he turns red. He quickly takes a gulp of his tea, so that it looks like the hot tea is turning him red.

“Can we compromise?” Blaine says, not bothered by Kurt being nervous.

“Compromise how?”

“We’re both right,” Blaine says, “You’re right. I was angry. I suppose a part of me still is, even though I try to sweet talk my way out of it. And I can be angry at you. But I’m right that you were caught in this messy situation as well and that you shouldn’t be too hard on yourself.”

“I- uh. Huh,” Kurt stammers over his words. This actually feels like a great middle ground. This way, Kurt’s made it pretty clear that he does not want Blaine to be taken advantage of and in this way, Blaine’s made it clear that he also cannot fully blame Kurt so they can both move on. “Oh. Yeah.”

Blaine smiles. He lets go of Kurt’s hand and he holds out a pinky.

Kurt snorts. “I was about to say ‘when did you become so smart?’, but your dorkiness ruins the sentiment.”

Yet, he hooks his pinky into Blaine’s.

“I was always a dork- ”

“True.”

“- but I now had a lot of time to become smart. Not seeing a certain person for a long period of time has its perks.”

Kurt pouts and then jokingly says: “Aw, didn’t you miss me?”

Blaine laughs. “I did, since the city is lonely without you, but I now had the time to sift through the madness in my head. It was nice.”

“I missed you too,” Kurt says fondly.

Blaine has an intense look on his face. Kurt has a strange feeling of déjà vu. Blaine looked at him like that during the engagement party of Rachel and Jesse: as if he wants to kiss him but he’s not sure if he’s allowed.

Back then, it made Kurt’s mind go static and it made him almost cheat on Adam. Now, they’re in a different position.

“I’m not ready,” Kurt says before Blaine can kiss him.

Blaine purses his lips. Then he nods. Of course, Blaine knows what Kurt’s talking about. Their love has been apparent for a long time.

“Okay,” Blaine says.

“I just had a terrible break-up,” Kurt reminds him.

“But you, uh, you…” Blaine trails off, but Kurt also understands what Blaine is talking about. Kurt nods to confirm that, yes, he loves Blaine too. Blaine gives him a small shrug. “Alright.”

“Alright?” Kurt asks.

Blaine smiles warmly. “Kurt, I’ve waited for two years. I can wait a bit longer. I’m just glad that now we’re out of this mess.”

Kurt feels relief wash over him. He never expected Blaine to force the relationship or anything, but they just reached a feeling of understanding and he didn’t want to ruin that.

“Let’s see if Wes has ‘changed his socks’, alright?” Blaine gets up from the couch. He takes his cup of tea and he nods towards Wes’s room. “I am certain that he’s dying to know what is going on, so let’s have tea. Wes really loves his tea.”

Blaine knocks on Wes’s door and when the door opens, Kurt can see him and Wes talk. Wes looks over Blaine’s shoulder at Kurt. Kurt gives him a thumbs up, and Wes smiles.

* * *

Sometimes, Kurt wonders how Adam is doing. Adam has blocked Kurt’s number, so it’s the end of it.

No one’s heard of Adam since Kurt broke up with him. Wes is saddened by it, but according to him, everyone processes events like this differently and if Adam doesn’t want to talk, then that’s his problem. Kurt wishes he could talk it out, like what he did with Blaine, but if Adam cannot even be reached, then it is a dead end.

It’s weird to be single after such an intense relationship. Kurt’s currently living in an insanely cheap long-stay Airbnb in New York. It’s at the outskirts of the city center, but he didn’t want to stay at Kitty and Roderick’s place, although they stored some of his stuff in their apartment. Kurt’s grateful for that, since their apartment is tiny.

He also doesn’t want to barge in on Rachel and Jesse’s lives, since they’re in full wedding planning mode. Rachel is already a Bridezilla. Jesse can also be quite demanding. The last time Kurt was at their apartment, he overheard Jesse yelling at their florist. Kurt felt bad for the poor florist, but the insanity of Rachel and Jesse together is not ideal.

Kurt definitely couldn’t move in with Blaine and Wes, even though Blaine had offered it. He and Blaine have bounced back to being best friends who talk every day, but it still felt too soon. Especially since there has been a change: Blaine’s flirty.

Kurt tries to convince himself that he’s just seeing things, and besides, Blaine’s never hidden his love for Kurt. Kurt just tried to deny it for months. There were always lingering looks, but now they last longer and Blaine doesn’t immediately look away when Kurt notices.

And Blaine’s more tactile. He’s always been a touchy guy. He’s told him it’s due to his friendship with Wes: they snuggle a lot. So, is Kurt seeing things? Or does he want to see things? This is why he put a distance between the two of them when Kurt first realised that Blaine’s in love with him.

But now he also knows that he’s in love with Blaine. And now they’re both single.

When he tells Kitty about it, she laughs loudly.

“No, you’re right,” she says, “He’s always been flirty, but it does look different this time.”

“What do I do?”

Kitty gives him a look. “Are you bothered by it? I mean, he knows you’re not jumping to start a new relationship.”

But Kurt isn’t bothered by it. In fact, it feels nice to receive Blaine’s affections without feeling guilty about it. Now, he has no boyfriend to hide this from.

“I quite like it,” he admits.

“Ooooooh,” Kitty waggles her eyebrows.

Kurt turns red. “Shut up.”

“No, Kurt, this is good!” Kitty says happily, “You two love each other. It was a messy road, but we’ve reached this point.

“I still feel like it’s going too fast,” Kurt tells her, “I don’t feel like I’m ready to date him.”

“Then don’t,” Kitty deadpans, “But you’ve been hanging out with him again. You’ve talked it out, and you two are chilling all the time. We’re back to you having to turn off your phone to prevent a texting spam from happening. And what do you think when you’re hanging out together?”

“That he is absolutely amazing.”

“And you love him dearly,” Kitty says, “You can now love him without anything holding you back. The same goes for him. Did you almost kiss him again yesterday during the potluck?”

Kurt thinks back to yesterday. They held the potluck at Blaine and Wes’s apartment and as usual, Kurt and Blaine paired off to talk about something else. They’d gone to Blaine’s room to go through Blaine’s growing Broadway vinyl collection and Kurt was absolutely smitten.

“… Almost, yeah.”

It was a small moment and Kurt thinks that Blaine noticed it, but they both turned red and looked away.

“Yeah, we all expected you guys to start macking,” Kitty sighs disapprovingly, “When you guys came back from his room fully-clothed, we understood that nothing could’ve happened in such a small time.”

“You guys are all strangely invested in my possible relationship with Blaine,” Kurt points out. Kitty snorts. Kurt gives her a look. “I- I am still thinking things through.”

Kitty pats him on the shoulder. “Kurt, just turn off that big brain of yours and let the magic happen.”

* * *

Rachel practically says the same thing while talking to Kurt about the wedding reception.

“Oh, and of course, I put you and Blaine at the same table,” Rachel says and she points towards a spot on the seating chart, “After all, if you’re not together by the end of the year, I’ll explode or something.”

Kurt laughs, but that laughter dies out quickly when he sees that Rachel isn’t laughing along.

“This isn’t a joke, Kurt,” Rachel says, “You two gotta do what you two wanna do. I totally understand not dating now, since it’s almost been a month or so since your break-up with Adam, so it is super fresh, but we can all see that this is an inevitability.”

“And the seating chart is going to accelerate the process?”

Rachel lets out a long, annoyed sigh. “No, Kurt, keep up. I just told you that I fully expect the two of you to be a couple during my wedding. The way the two of you act makes it clear that I’m right.”

“The two of us?”

Rachel rolls her eyes. “Jesus, Kurt, you’re dense. Yeah, Blaine’s super flirty, but so are you.”

“I’m just being friendly,” Kurt protests, but Rachel grins widely.

“Sure, believe that.”

* * *

“This city is enormous,” Wes says as he hands Kurt a cup of coffee from the vending stand, “And yet, I keep running into someone I know when I don’t plan to.”

“Yeah, that seems to happen quite often,” Kurt says.

Wes leads the two of them to a park bench to sit down on. “Even Central Park is huge, so what are the odds of the two of us running into each other?”

“Small, I suppose.”

“Ah well, we haven’t seen each other since the potluck, but Blaine said that your audition went well. The role is yours?”

“Yup, and Blaine also said that you’re buried with work.”

Wes smiles. “Yeah, not everyone can afford to do two years of nothing. I envy Blaine sometimes, but he needed it, and luckily he’s in the position to do so.”

“It sounds amazing to be rich,” Kurt sighs. He lives in a shitty Airbnb in the outskirts and Blaine lives in an apartment with a view on the Manhattan skyline.

“Yeah, it puts you in an insanely privileged position. If it hadn’t been for his dad’s money, then Blaine would’ve been way worse. Papa Anderson paid for therapy and for the apartment. This way, his dad at least does something good.”

“I can’t imagine not talking to my dad for seven years,” Kurt says. His dad has always been his rock. Of course, his dad is aware of the break-up, since Kurt shares everything with him. Sometimes, he’s a bit late, but Kurt will always tell his dad what is going on.

“Honestly, it’s better this way,” Wes says bitterly, which pulls Kurt from his thoughts about his dad. Wes clenches his fist. “I hope for his sake that I’ll never see John Anderson again.”

Wes drinks his coffee and Kurt is incredibly grateful that he’s on Wes’s good side. Their conversation in the kitchen was brief, but Wes has made it pretty clear during the shovel talk part that Kurt cannot fuck with Blaine’s heart any longer. Wes likes him, but all that will go away the moment Kurt does something to Blaine that Wes does not like.

Wes is the person who gives everyone a direct answer.

“Wes?”

“Hmmm.”

“Can I ask you something?”

“Yeah.”

“Am I now messing with Blaine’s heart?”

As expected, Wes immediately looks like he’s ready to fight him. “Are you?”

“No!” Kurt quickly says, “Or, I don’t think so. That’s why I am asking you. You’re the one who would tell me if I were.”

Kurt explains the situation. He tells Wes that he’s noticed that Blaine’s flirty and that according to others, so is Kurt.

“You’re not leading him on, if that’s what you’re wondering,” Wes says.

“I’m not?” Kurt sounds relieved.

Wes shakes his head. “Kurt, this is nothing damn new. This is why it was so obvious to all of us that you loved him too. As you said so yourself, you just ignored all the signs, but now you’re in a position to notice them, so you do. But now the situation is way different: you’ve set boundaries. You both are flirty as fuck, but you also both understand that you’re not there yet and you both respect that decision. It seems to work.”

“… but what if I am ready? I don’t know if I am.”

Wes lets out a long sigh. It reminds Kurt of Rachel. Wes gives him a tired look.

“God, don’t you two ever get tired of this back-and-forth thing?” Wes grumbles.

“What?”

“There isn’t, like, a schedule you have to follow! The matters of the heart are not rational, and that is _me_ saying. I’m all rationality and logic and procedures,” Wes says and he sounds seriously fed up about the situation, “If you weren’t ready a week ago, then that’s true, but if you’re ready now, earlier than expected, then that’s true too. Don’t give me the ‘oh, it wasn’t supposed to go this way’ crap. We’re young, Kurt. Life is ahead of us and there will probably be many unforeseeable turns and twists.”

“I feel like after these past weeks, I can handle everything that life will throw at me.”

“You never know what life has in store for you, so live it,” Wes says, “Are you ready to date Blaine?”

“No,” Kurt answers honestly.

“Then, don’t date him. He knows that you’re not ready. It’s fine. But if you _are_ ready tomorrow, then go for it,” Wes says, “You were super committed to Adam, so it’s okay to take your time, but you’ve also been in love with Blaine for two years, so don’t be surprised if you want him. Your feelings on whether or not you want to date him might change on a whim, and that is _fine_. When it’s right, it’s right. Instead of overthinking it, act on it. Don’t stop to think about why, but just do something.”

Kurt laughs when he sees that Wes seems truly annoyed by this situation. “Alright, Wes, I’ll keep your advice in mind.”

“And please, let me live my life in peace,” Wes sighs, but then he smiles too.

“I’ll try.”

“Great,” Wes says, “I like you, Kurt. I really do. You’re not Sebastian, or Jude, or whoever. I told Blaine that you’re a keeper. You refuse to be treated as crap and therefore, you also refuse to treat others as crap. Sure, you can mess up, and you have-” Wes gives Kurt a pointed look. Wes never forgets, that’s why he holds grudges. “-but you have principles and one of those is to treat people with kindness. I’ve said it in the kitchen and I’ll say it again. But that also means that you can give yourself some slack.”

“How so?”

“The fact that the idea of you hurting Blaine again already troubles you so much shows that you will not hurt him again,” Wes answers, “People who inflict pain on others often don’t question their actions. People who inflict pain will probably not even realise that they’re doing it, like Sebastian, and because of that, those people become detached from the possible consequences of their actions. You are not like that, man. Your heart is in the right place and once it’s ready to belong to Blaine, it’ll all be fine.”

“I- wow,” Kurt says, looking at Wes in awe, “Oh, _wow_ , Wes.”

Wes grins knowingly.

“And now I need to go back to the office before my boss screams at me for going all the way to Central Park for my break.”

They say their goodbyes and Kurt feels lighter than before. He understands why it helps Blaine to talk to Wes.

* * *

Kurt opens the door of his temporary home and he sees Blaine standing in front of him. This was expected, since they agreed to hang out together. He did not expect Blaine to look slightly stressed out.

“So, I did something stupid,” Blaine says as a greeting.

“Uhm, come in,” Kurt steps aside so that Blaine can enter the Airbnb.

Luckily, Kurt’s almost moving out. He’s gotten the role in the new Off-Broadway musical Butter Cookies, and he’s moving somewhere with some of his co-stars who’ve just moved to the city.

Now, Blaine no longer has to take a long train to Kurt’s current place.

“Remember how I wanted to see the new show Hadestown?”

“How could I forget?” Kurt asks. It’s kind of endearing how much Blaine talks about that show.

“Tickets are sparse, since the show apparently is _that_ good, so I hopped on the internet to secure a ticket as soon as possible, but I accidentally bought two.”

“Okay?” Kurt says, “Just sell the other one on eBay.”

Blaine stops in his tracks.

“Oh, I was actually wondering if you wanted to come with me,” Blaine says nervously.

Kurt’s eyes widen. They’ve gone to shows before, but that was all _before_. Not only that, but Kurt knows that Hadestown is a love story.

Blaine is clearly bothered by the silence, since he starts to ramble.

“I mean, I could sell it on eBay, obviously. Or maybe even give it away for free! But I thought- I mean, you don’t _have_ to. I can imagine that you’re busy with Butter and with moving and planning the wedding for Rachel and Jesse. It was just a silly idea, uh, forget I even suggested it-”

“ _Blaine_.”

Blaine takes a deep breath.

“I’d love to,” Kurt answers, “When’s the show?”

“This Saturday at 2pm, which I know is super close-”

“Blaine,” Kurt cuts him off again. He puts his hand on Blaine’s arm and Kurt notices how it makes Blaine’s breath hitch. Kurt tries to ignore it by focusing on their plans. He smiles enthusiastically and says: “Let’s go to Hadestown together.”

If Kurt were to move his hand down Blaine’s arm, then he could hold Blaine’s hand.

God, they’re so in love, aren’t they?

“Uh, cool. It doesn’t have to be, like, a date or anything,” Blaine says with a high-pitched voice. So, Kurt is not the only one noticing the tension.

Kurt quickly lets go of Blaine’s arm.

“Cool. Okay,” Kurt says. No date. That’s fine. “Now, did you bring the newest Vogue magazine?”

* * *

Kurt sprays some more hairspray in his quiff so that it looks great. He checks himself out in the mirror. Once he’s added a bird-shaped brooch, he’s satisfied with his look and he makes the commute to the city center

Kurt and Blaine decided to meet in front of the Walter Kerr Theatre. They’re going to see the show together and then they’re going out for dinner.

It’s not a date. They’ve done this before.

But that was before their fight and before the ‘Kadam’ break-up, as Rachel calls him. Rachel has now also come up with a new portmanteau: Klaine.

Things are different now. They’re single and clearly in love.

“Blaine!” Kurt yells out and he waves.

Blaine smiles when he sees Kurt. “Hey.”

“Hi.”

“You look amazing,” Blaine says, “As always.”

“So do you,” Kurt says, “Is that a new bowtie?”

“My collection keeps growing, Kurt,” Blaine says and he straightens his bowtie, “Thad sent it to me, all the way from Los Angeles. The shade of red matches the Hadestown logo.”

That makes Kurt smile. “You really are excited about this, huh?”

Blaine nods rapidly. “Uh, yeah, do you know how hard it was to resist watching the London boot? I wanted this to be as real and new as possible.”

“Well, thank you for sharing this with me.”

“Of course,” Blaine says, “Thank you for saying yes.”

Then Blaine winks. Blaine turns around to walk towards the entrance and Kurt watches him.

It’s not a date, but that doesn’t mean that Kurt and Blaine aren’t obnoxiously in love with each other. Why isn’t this a date?

“Oh,” Kurt says when he thinks about that. Why isn’t this a date? After all, isn’t he tired of this back-and-forth thing, like Wes put it?

Blaine looks over his shoulder. “Is there something?”

Kurt shakes his head. He can figure this out later.

“No, let’s go. Let’s watch this show.”

Inside the theatre, some people recognise Kurt from The Street, but apart from that, Kurt and Blaine are left alone. They both buy a drink and when the signal indicates that it’s time to be seated, Blaine’s so excited and he drags Kurt to their seats.

“It’s time!”

The show is beautiful. They are transported into the narrative of the show. During intermission, they gush about their favourite Act 1 parts. Act 2 starts strong and they are once again invested in the show, and when Orpheus turns around, the entire theatre gasps.

Even though the myth of Orpheus and Eurydice is well-known, Kurt still grabs Blaine’s hand in shock and they watch Eurydice get pulled back to hell.

Something about the loss of love makes Kurt cry uncontrollably and he isn’t the only one. The audience is sobbing and Kurt hears the sobs and sniffs everywhere around him. Blaine also wipes the tears away. The message of the show is clear: love is real and cherish it before it’s too late.

By the end of the show, Kurt and Blaine still holding hands. They only break apart to applaud during the bows.

When the stage clears out, people start to leave as well. Blaine tries to move too, but Kurt puts his hand on Blaine’s shoulder to push him back.

“Kurt, stage door!” Blaine says.

But Kurt shakes his head. Watching these two love stories unravel made Kurt think about his last conversation with Wes: _when it’s right, it’s right. Instead of overthinking it, act on it._ He’s spent the past month overthinking about everything, but watching Hades and Persephone love each other despite their difference, and watching Orpheus and Eurydice try to do everything they can to stay together makes Kurt realise that he has to act. He’s done enough thinking.

Kurt can’t really explain why now is the moment, but it’s here.

“Kurt?” Blaine asks, confused, when Kurt keeps staring at him in silence.

_Don’t stop to think about why, but just do something_

Kurt takes a deep breath. He can do this. He wants this, and so does Blaine.

“I know you said that this wasn’t a date and I know you said it because I made it clear that I wasn’t ready to date.”

“Yeah?” Blaine furrows his brow.

“I’ve changed my mind.”

Blaine’s eyes widen and he looks hopeful. He starts to smile.

Kurt smiles too.

“I want this to be a date.”

Now, Blaine’s fully smiling and Kurt’s probably looking as happy as well.

“Really?” Blaine asks, to be sure.

“Really,” Kurt confirms.

“Then, can I do this?” Blaine puts his hand on the back of Kurt’s neck and he pulls him closer to kiss him.

After years of mutual attraction and flirting, Kurt’s almost kissed Blaine twice. Now it is actually happening and it’s everything he’s dreamed of. He wraps his arms around Blaine to pull him closer.

They pull apart and they realise that they’re in an almost empty theatre, so they laugh and they walk to the wardrobe hand-in-hand.

“Finally,” Blaine says absently, which makes Kurt grin.

Kurt is happy. He’s oh so happy.

They hold hands during stage door. They hold hands on the train. They hold hands during dinner. They hold hands when they go back to Blaine’s apartment.

They can do that now. Kurt can take Blaine’s hand without wondering if it’s awkward, because now, they’re ready.

Wes takes one look at them and he nods.

“Finally!” he says as well. Kurt’s pretty sure that everyone’s feeling the same. “I can finally update the groupschat. Yes, there’s a Klaine watch groupschat. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go ‘change my socks’. Outside. Text me when it’s safe for me to come back or if I need to invest in earplugs.”

He gives Blaine a quick hug before grabbing his phone and his coat. He gives Kurt a nod and a smile. Then, he walks out of the apartment.

“By the end of the day, everyone will know,” Kurt says.

Blaine nods. “Especially since there is a groupschat about us.”

“Apparently. Why does this not surprise me? Our friends are amazing.”

“You know what was also amazing? Today,” Blaine says and he once again takes Kurt’s hand. He looks at their joined hands as if he still can’t believe it’s real.

Honestly, Kurt understands the feeling.

“Two years of pining have paid off,” Blaine says, “Best day ever!”

Blaine looks so happy. Kurt’s also happy. They’re gonna be happy forever. It might sound naïve, but that’s how it feels. Kurt smiles when he leans in for another kiss. He’s been waiting to kiss Blaine again, even though their first kiss was only a few hours ago.

“I love you,” Blaine says.

They’ve only been on one date, but it’s true. They’ve loved each other for two years, so it’s not weird to say it.

“I love you too,” Kurt says.

“Thank you for today,” Blaine says, “Again, it was amazing.”

Kurt has to agree. The trip to the theatre didn’t start as a date, but it turned into a perfect first date. Kurt leads Blaine to the couch and there they snuggle whilst talking about the amazing show and how their first date was ideal. They’re very happy.

Today was a day that Kurt will never forget. He’s sure of that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Except that he does. Of course, that story gets told in Myosotis sylvatica. 
> 
>   
> But this is the end of Myosotis verna, the unexpected prequel. I loved writing this story, since it was clearly connected to the rest of the series, but it also felt like it was a story on its own. I truly enjoyed exploring the dynamic between all the characters, especially Kurt and Adam.
> 
>   
> Wanna know how Adam’s doing? Click [here](https://forabeatofadrum.tumblr.com/post/634856107728355329/what-about-adam)! Wow, that sounds like an infomercial.
> 
>   
> I also kind of want to bang Blaine’s head against the wall, since I still agree with Kurt and Wes that he’s too forgiving, but Blaine will not budge, and honestly, I also liked writing that. Not to plug Myosotis sylvatica again, but that one shows how kind and forgiving he can be.
> 
>   
> Thanks again to MC_Hot_Chocolate for giving me this amazing idea and thank you to everyone who’s read it. The Myosotis series is finished now (or at least, I have nothing planned) and it was one hell of a ride. If you came along for the ride, then I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did.


End file.
